Conspiracy
by Jasmini
Summary: I used to hide behind a mask and pretend that everything was okay.I made sure that no one knew my dark past and hid behind a smile plastered to my face.But then I took one final blow to the heart, and the facade fell apart. There was no point anymore. RXR
1. Rude Awakening

Chapter 1: Rude Awakening

_The luminant moon reflecting off the water. The humid air comforted me in my absence of sleep. I was staring out at the pier. A familiar face came behind me and said my name, but something was wrong. His lips moved and he said something inaudible to anyone but me, but he said it with such an edge it made shivers travel down my spine. Soon I was following his back into the dark forest ahead of us._

I woke up with a hard thud against my bedroom floor. "Ow, that really hurt" I looked at my alarm clock. "Damn, it's only three in the morning." I rubbed my head and noticed I was dripping in a cold sweat. Then I recalled my dream. "As if living through it wasn't enough" I whispered to myself.

I walked to my bathroom and took a glimpse in the mirror. Apparently I had forgotten to take off my black eye shadow, because at the moment I looked like a panda. I took a long hot shower and took another look in the mirror. The difference without makeup is extraordinary. I could just as easily be confused with one of the prissy popular girls at my old school, too bad changing the egg's shell does not change the yolk inside.

I'm Mikan Sakura. I have long, wavy, brown hair down at my waist. It was the color that some girls would pay a good fifty bucks at the salon to have. I've had a baby face all my life, and even though I'm 16, I could easily be confused with a 13 year old. My height didn't help either since I only stood at a measly 5 feet high. The only thing that was average for my age was my body, which unfortunately gave me way more attention than I desire, which by-the-way is none whatsoever. But hey, that's what masking tape and baggy clothes are for. The tape being for the chest and the clothes for everything else, in case one of you geniuses is slow on the uptake.

At first glance I was like an ironing board, but luckily for me I didn't get much of a second glance. Why you ask? Well let's just say I put on as much makeup as a harlequin. Underneath my clown-like makeup, was a cream like complexion, not as white as paper but not as dark as caramel. In between somewhere I suppose. I had a flat nose and cheeks that according to my sisters are, "Oh so adorable" Thank God I'll never hear that again. My eyes are hazel but in the light they turn colors from green to yellow. Weird right, but that's one of the main reasons I tend to avoid light.

Alright I know what you're thinking. Why go through so much trouble to appear ugly. Well there are three answers to that question:

1) permanent solutions are too expensive

2) beauty is only skin deep

3) dumbass boys won't bother me this way.

The last one is the main reason. I never want a guy to as much as look at me.

Well unfortunately for me this new school I just transferred to has a p—r—e—t—t—y strict policy. Oh please who am I kidding, that's putting it lightly. No makeup, no jewelry, no belts, no shoelaces, nothing electronic, and of course the cherry on top, uniforms. Not just any type of uniforms, oh no. A SKIRT!! And to make things worse the school confiscated my tape. Who kills themselves with tape! Now I know what you're thinking once again. "This school sounds like a prison" Well you're pretty close. Gakuen Alice. It's a school for three types of people.

1) The people who have bad lives and take it out on little puppies

2) The people who think beating the shit out of others is amusing

3) People who exhibit "emotionally distressed behavior"

Of course there's separate buildings for the 3 divisions. Hell division 2 is practically a building for sociopaths! I fall into the third division. I'm guessing you wanna know why. Well I'll try to keep it short since the long version (long is putting it lightly) has too many soap opera moments.

Well it all started with an English essay, we had to write in class. (The only class I don't skip anyway) We had to make a quote that describes our lives. Well mine was 'Life is an obligation, that you can't get out of.' Yeah, I know that's pretty emo, but I was having a rough day, sue me. My English teacher sent the paper to my guidance counselor, who, just by looking at the way I dress, placed me under the label "experiencing emotional distress and is a threat to herself " Sounds like a smart way to say emo If you ask me.

My "parents" who had already gotten tired of my "depressed phase", as they called it, sent me here. I think it's just because by the time I get out of this boarding school I'll be 18. Then they can just pull the "legal age not my problem" card. Well whatever, here I am.

"No point in putting on makeup." I brushed my hair and pulled it into a high pony tail and put on a black t-shirt and sweats. I walked past the uniform on a hanger eyeing it in disgust. It was still only four in the morning. "I'll just take a walk" I said to myself. I walked down the empty stairwell and out the front door. It was drizzling but that was no problem, a little rain never killed anyone.

I let a smile run on my face as the water splashed against it. I soon began to skip. Yes, skip. Hey everybody's got a goofy side. My little frolic was cut short however by an abrupt trip courtesy of my converse lace. "Nice one Sakura" I muttered dusting myself off. I then heard a light chuckle from the trees. "Who's there" I called. There was no answer. I shook off the uneasy feeling I was having and went back to my room.


	2. Who is that Girl?

Hey people, this chapter is written in Natsume's POV, just to be clear

Hey people, this chapter is written in Natsume's POV, just to be clear. This chapter is REALLY short just to warn you, but to make up for it chapter 3 will come out VERY soon after this one. Well I hope you enjoy it. No flaming please.

Chapter 2: Who is that girl?

I was sitting in my tree as usual. My watch read that it was 4:40. It was the norm for me to be wandering around in the early morning hours considering I'm an insomniac. I leaned against the tree branch when I suddenly saw a girl walking in my direction. "Great not another fangirl" I thought to myself. Unfortunately I'm a little too popular with the girls at this school. What I don't understand is why girls would try to get a boyfriend at a school like this. As she got closer I got a better view of her face. It blew me away. Yes she was very pretty, but it was more just her beauty that had me captivated. She had a look of innocence but at the same time the look in her eyes was scary. It had the look of pure sadness and loneliness. Even as she skipped and frolicked happily it still had the feel of loneliness. Her skipping was cut short when she had an abrupt fall on her face. I couldn't help myself I just had to laugh, but I quickly covered my mouth for two reasons

1) I would attract her attention

2) I haven't had a real laugh in years but this girl made me laugh so easily

She reminded me of someone and I just couldn't put my finger on who it was. But it eventually came to me

"_Oniichan, Oniichan, please slow down" a little girl yelled. "Move faster Aoi, we're gonna be late for school." I yelled back to her. But then she tripped on her shoelace. I couldn't help but laugh at my cute little sister. "Nasume, you're so mean to me" she yelled and ran off ahead._

"Aoi" I said to myself silently. I felt a tear roll down my eye. I wiped my face and looked at the alien substance. I heard someone calling out to me. "Natsume, how many times have I told you to stop wandering around campus when you can't sleep?" He looked at my face and his expression quickly softened. He climbed up the tree and took a look at me. "What's wrong?" he asked silently. That's Ruka for you, always worrying about other people. "It's nothing really," I said silently, "that girl left just now reminded me of Aoi. Remember how she used to trip all the time. She even tripped on air." I mused, weakly. I hoped that my voice didn't betray my words. Obviously they did because Ruka looked at me with pity and sadness. "Natsume, its okay to miss your sister." he told me. We stood silent for a while. "Hey Natsume, I think we should go back now." he said. "Yea let's go" I agreed. And I followed him back to the boy's dorms.

Thanx for reading. Please review, they encourage me to update faster. I really softened up Natsume's character he still has that same degree of sarcasm and a couple other aspects of his old personality, but I eliminated his perverseness and his violence (at the beginning of the anime/manga anyway) Well as compensation for making this chapter so short I'll give you a tiny preview of what's to come.

_Preview:_

_Chapter 3: Googling Eyes and Stalkers_

_I walked in about to take my seat when the teacher up front pulled me back. I gave him a glare and he quickly let go of me "I-introduce y-yourself to the _

_c-c-class" he stuttered. I sighed "I'm Mikan Sakura, call me whatever you'd like, I'm 16, blood type B, slightly anemic, height: 5 ft. weight: 105 lbs………….I think that's enough unless you want my entire medical history." The class giggled a bit and the teacher pointed to a seat to the back of the room. A window seat, perfect. I walked to my seat and tried to ignore all the eyes on me, most of them belonging to those who retain a y-chromosome. I rolled my eyes in disgust. It was surely gonna be a long, long day. _


	3. Googling Eyes and Stalkers

For those of you, who may not understand the significance of the boys belonging to division 2; remember that people in that division hurt others without remorse, or guilt. They're basically sociopaths, which are very, very dangerous. Ok here we go…

Chapter 3: Googling Eyes and Stalkers

"Class, please settle down!" a substitute teacher yelled to his students. It was to no avail. He should just give up, I mean come on we all know that in any school, and I mean any, that substitutes get no respect. The class was sitting on their desktops, girls talking on their cell phones, a few were playing poker in the corner, and there was a circle around two kids fighting.

Well that's all fine and dandy, but only one thing really ticked me off. MOST OF THEM WERE OUT OF UNIFORM! "Great if I had known that the school was so lax in the uniform policy, I never would've worn this." I thought to myself. I looked down at what I was wearing. It was a typical uniform, but the skirt showed way more leg than I ever wanted it to. It was too late to go to my room to change.

An old geezer came up behind me. "Out of my way" he said, getting in front of me and opened the door. The class quieted down immediately. They straightened their rows, took out their books, and started to do the work on the board; they also miraculously had changed out of their street clothes into their uniforms in 10 seconds flat. I wanted to laugh but decided to hold it in. The teacher then waved his hand and signaled me to come in.

I sighed, "Here goes everything" I said to myself. I walked in and was about to take my seat when the teacher up front pulled me back. I gave him a glare and he quickly let go of me "I-introduce y-yourself to the c-c-class" he stuttered. I sighed "I'm Mikan Sakura, call me whatever you'd like, I'm 16, blood type B, slightly anemic, height: 5 ft. weight: 105 lbs………….I think that's enough unless you want me to read my entire medical history." The class giggled a bit and the teacher pointed to a seat to the back of the room.

A window seat, perfect. I walked to my seat and tried to ignore all the eyes on me, most of them belonging to those who retain a y-chromosome. I rolled my eyes in disgust. It was surely gonna be a long, long day.

As first period went on, eyes slowly drifted from me to the chalkboard ahead of the class. Except for one pair that was practically burning a hole in the back of my head. "Will you please quit—" I started to say while turning around, but I immediately regretted it.

My hazel eyes soon crashed with crimson ones. "Those can't be his real color," I thought to myself, "Can they?" His eyes held curiosity, anger, and confusion. I quickly turned back around. I never was good at maintaining eye contact. Well I really didn't care anyway. "I never knew the back of my head was sooooooo interesting" I muttered loud enough for him to hear. I could practically hear him rolling his eyes, and the blonde boy sitting next to him started to laugh. "Can it Ruka." he said to the boy.

Class dragged on and I soon fell asleep only to wake to the loud clanging of the bell. I jumped and fell out of my seat. "OW!" I said rubbing my leg. The class roared in laughter. I took a bow. Hey If I gave them a show I might as well get credit for it. They looked at me as if I had a third eye and I walked out the front door. From the corner of my eye I could see the red eyed boy with a strange look on his face. What was that look? Was it pain?

Now things would have gone back to normal if it wasn't for that damn red-eyed boy bearing holes into my back. And sure I could probably just ignore it. But we have almost every damn class together. IT WAS DRIVING ME CRAZY. Natsume Hyugga and his wingman Ruka Nogi, the class "heart throbs" Ok sure I'll admit that their good looking, but who tries to get a boyfriend at a school like this? (A.N. notice the familiar sentence lol) Oh God here comes the wingman.

"Sakura-san, I need to talk to you. Can you meet me at the stairwell leading to the roof" he said and then turned away. "Of course you'd choose the place furthest away from here" I thought to myself. I walked behind him toward the meeting place. It was one of the darkest and dirtiest places in the whole school. My guess is that it was one of the places even the janitor never bothered to clean.

Then he suddenly stopped and turned around "I think this is far enough" he said. "Any particular reason why you took me to the most deserted parts of school?" I asked. Normally I'd be scared to be left alone with a guy but, this one I was perfectly fine with. It's either because he resembles a girl or because he looks so weak I could probably fight him off with half of my strength.

"No one ever comes here," he said simply, "I don't want anyone overhearing me" he said. "O-k-a-y…… soooooooo whatcha wanna talk about" I said. he paused for a few moments then he said, "I really don't wanna sound like a jerk, because you probably don't even realize you're doing it, but would you please stay as far away from Natsume as possible" I looked at him weirdly but then I saw the look on his face. "Are you serious," I said "I barely even know the guy. If anything I wish he'd just stop staring at me, it's pretty annoying." I said. He took in a deep breath. An attempt to calm himself down I suppose, and he began again.

"Look, you're reminding him of very painful memories. Have you ever had something happen to you that was so painful that even the slightest reminder brought you pain?" he asked. I winced as I remembered this morning's dream. "Now that I'm clear, please just do as I say." he said and then walked away. "Whatever" I said to myself. I was gonna go back to my room but suddenly I crossed paths with two boys. I was about to walk past them when they blocked my path.

My heart fell, "Oh God, please, no" I thought to myself. I glanced up at their sweaters and my worse fears came true. They were Division Two boys. They gave each other a smirk and began to back me into a dark corner.

Okay this was a little longer, but once again is still pretty short. Sorry for the short chapters. Okay so anyway, this story will have about 20 chapters and I'm going to update it every other day. You see I pretty much have all of it written already, I wrote all of this because I was punished, and with nothing to do I resorted to this. Okay that's it. Review please


	4. My Hero in Suede Boots

Chapter 4: My hero in Suede Boots

I was at a loss for what I should do. The boys continued to back me further and further into the corner of the hallway. There was no fear on my face but deep inside I was petrified. My muscled tensed and I could feel my scream forming at the back of my throat. My body pumped with adrenaline and fear. I remembered what I learned from a health class a few years ago. The Fight or Flight Response was still vivid in my mind.

I could never win the fight, so y body prepared for the flight. "Hey would you look at that, we have a little cat in our domain." one of them said to the other. He examined me up and down and said "And a pretty one too" I was utterly disgusted. They both had the look of triumph on their face. The look of lions happy with their catch. _No. _They came closer and closer to me. _No. _I soon felt my back against the wall. _No. _My eyes widened in realization, my stalling was over. "NO!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.

It was ear shattering. The two gripped their ears in shock, and I used this opportunity to try and get away. One of the two recovered faster than the other and grabbed my waist as I began to run. He pulled me back and my head clashed against the wall. "She's got quite a mouth, this one" the other one said. "I think we should gag her" he said. "No need" the other one said. He reached over and clashed his lips against mine. My mouth opened in shock and he slithered his tongue into my mouth. I recovered from my shock quickly and bit down. Hard. "Ahhh!" he screamed, "She fucking bit me" he said.

The other one laughed, but the one I bit didn't find it funny at all. His fist clashed into my face. He kneed me and continued to hit me mercilessly. He grabbed my throat and started to choke me, "If you dare scream, kick, or bite any of us we'll kill you" he said. I did my best to nod. 'Should I just let him kill me? That would make all my misery end. It would save me the trouble of reliving _it_ over and over again.' The questions in my brain remained unanswered as I lost consciousness.

"_Mikan come with me, I have something I want to show you" a shadow said. It was the summer, and very humid. I was on a school camping trip for our end of the year celebration. "Sure Li." I answered with an uneasy smile. Something seemed wrong. His eyes looked wild. They were blazing with an unknown emotion. "Listen Li, I'm sorry I rejected you," I began, "I truly do like you, just not that way. I hope that we can get over this and….." My sentence was cut short because I walked straight into his back. "Hey what-" I was cut off again, but this time it was by lips crashing against mine._

I started to regain consciousness. I was probably only out for about 10 minutes. By this time my both my shirt and skirt were off, and they seemed tired of "playing" with me. I resigned myself for what was coming and closed my swollen eyes. Despite being closed tears began to fall from them.

Then out of nowhere my attacker's grip on me slacked. With nothing holding me up, I quickly slid to the floor. I opened my eyes to see a girl with black hair just at her ears and amethyst eyes. 'Not another weird color' I thought to myself. She was wearing the school uniform but instead of shoes she wore mountain boots. How she didn't get those taken away when she enrolled here was beyond me. She had cold yet at the same time kind eyes.

She crouched down at my side and said, "You should get dressed quickly, all I did was knock them out." At that I quickly pulled the shirt over my head and wrapped the skirt around me. I knew that it was probably sloppy, but considering I probably had cuts and bruises all over my body, I doubt that would matter.

She took held her hand out to me, "Come, I'll take you to the ladies room" I hesitated but then took her hand. We went down two flights of steps, rounded the corner and went into the room. There were some girls fixing themselves up for dinner at the mirrors.

"All of you" she said, "OUT" within a moment's time the bathroom was empty. She took a towel from the counter. And wet it under the sink. She began to wipe my face, and my arms. It stung everywhere she put the towel. The towel soon began to turn red at what I assumed was my own blood. When she was done I took a look in the mirror. My eyes were swollen, and had the first onset of purple. I would definitely have two black eyes tomorrow. I had cuts all over my face and arms. My lips were chapped and blistered. Worst part, I had a trail of hickeys all down my neck and breasts. If there ever was an excuse to burn ones own skin. I looked like death incarnate.

"Hey its diner time, wanna come with me to eat" I really wasn't hungry, but I would surely accompany her to the cafeteria, and away from this section of the school. We walked in silence till she spoke up. "Ya'know, that scream of yours is really something." she said calmly. "I was all the way on the other side of school when I heard it. I'm pretty sure the whole school heard you." I tried to remember when in my attack had I screamed. Then I remember I did.

"Well if I was so loud," I cleared my throat it, it was still hoarse, "then how come only you came to help me. That's kinda fucked up don't cha think" She looked as if she was thinking. "True," she said, "if this was any other school anyway. Here students abide by two unwritten rules.

1) A person's business is their own business, so mind your business.

2) Never eat the mystery meat.

But luckily for you I don't follow either." I couldn't help but find myself smiling at her. "What's your name?" she asked me. I smirked, "Mikan, Mikan Sakura. You?" "Hotaru Imai." We shook hands and laughed at how proper we were. I couldn't really tell, but I had a feeling this would be the start of a great friendship.

A/N: Okay Review please read and Review. In this chapter you got a sense of what Mikan went through. But don't jump to conclusions just yet if you're thinking about what may have happened to her. Its way more complicated then you think. Nothing I do is ever simple, so expect a complicated storyline


	5. Telapathy

_Srry for the long wait. Well here's Chapter 5. It's a pretty dull chapter if you ask me and once again its pretty short, but I encourage you to keep reading. PLEASE GIVE ME SOME REVIEWS. It makes me so sad when there are no reviews so please review after the story._

Chapter 5: Telapathy

I walked with Hotaru into the cafeteria. All eyes turned to me. Well most of the eyes where on the person I was leaning on. Clearly my savior had quite the reputation at this school. The few glances that were in my direction were filled with shock. I guess that's to be expected since it's my first day of classes and I already 'got into a fight'. She guided me to her usual table and plopped me down gently.

"Oi!" she said catching the table's attention "this is Mikan Sakura, she just transferred here." she said to them. I could feel their eyes on me but I just put my head down. "Newbie, are you hungry?" she asked me. "Naw," I said and looked up at her, "Just ask that lunch lady over there to bring you whatever she has for me." I said pointing to a tall brunette. "Just say my name and she'll give it to you." I said and I resumed placing my head down.

She raised an eyebrow. Probably used to giving orders rather than receiving them. "Kay, I'll be back" was all she said. I sighed and leaned my head back on the table. Then I felt eyes bearing into my skull. I looked up lazily, "What do you want" I said annoyed. They all looked at each other. I glanced around the table. There were five people. A boy with sandy spikey hair, a girl with pink hair and green eyes (what's up with all the weird colors) a girl with blue hair and matching blue eyes, and then to my side were Natsume and Ruka. Why didn't I notice them there before? When I was done with my observation the spikey haired one spoke up.

"Its nothing Sakura, we're just all thinking that you look pretty knocked up." The two girls behind him smacked him upside his head at the same time. Wow now that's teamwork.

"No shit, Sherlock" I said rolling my eyes. "Please excuse my brother, he has more than a few screws loose" The one with blue hair said. "I'm Nonoko, you can just call me Noko, and this is my brother, Kokoroyomi, just call him Koko. That girl over there is our cousin Anna," she said pointing to the girl with pink hair, "and I'm pretty sure you know Natsume and Ruka already." she finished. "Hn. Mikan Sakura. Call me whatever you'd like" was all I said. I put my head back down. Hotaru then came with her tray of food and my glass of water and pills. Behind her was the lunch lady. I took the pill bottle and the water and took two of the pills along with the water. I stuck my tongue out and she nodded walking away. While her back was turned I spat them out and wrapped them in the napkin.

Hotaru looked at me weirdly. "I don't take things when I don't know the side-effects that come with it." I told her, "besides, anti-depressants don't work on me; they just make me feel crappier." I said. "Thanks for today, I appreciate it." I stood up and walked away. "Later." I said with my back still turned. I was long gone so I couldn't hear the conversation that followed after I left.

"Damn!" Koko said, "She looks like she got hit by a truck." he said, "What happened to her?" The group turned toward Hotaru who put simply, "She was attacked obviously." she said sitting down, "You should know better than anyone Mister I Can Read Memories." she said sarcastically. Koko snickered, "I would have to touch her to do that," he said, "plus this one would kill me if I were to play that trick again." he said pointing to his sister. He shivered at the bad memories of how the group discovered his little ability.

Nonoko slapped the back of his head, "Hotaru who attacked her, she seemed pretty mellow in class, and she didn't do anything to cause a fight?" she said. "She was in the division 2 building, poor noob, she probably didn't know any better." Hotaru said.

The group automatically knew what had happened. Division 2 was the smallest building in the school, making it the emptiest building; it had less teachers, students, and staff, making it even more dangerous. Still don't get it. Imagine being in an empty building with a serial killer. They shook their heads and their eyes where all filled with pity. Except Ruka, who had both pity and guilt.

I walked around outside to a big tree in the center of campus. Trees. I remember being little and climbing them, hiding behind them, and swinging off branches. I smiled at the memory. It was the only time I can actually remember being happy in my childhood.

_I was being held down; I could feel harsh bark against my back. Tears formed in my eyes at the hard lips on mine. I looked up and all I could see was the full moon shining, mocking me through the leaves._

He had ruined it; my one happy memory was soiled. I could feel my eyes becoming more and more like the clouds, ready to break down and pour at any second. "Bury it all away; tears on the outside can be wiped away" I chanted to myself. I didn't feel a boy approaching me.

"Hey" he called out. When I was sure I wouldn't embarrass myself with my tears I opened one eye. He seemed to realize that that was the only acknowledgement he was gonna get from me so he continued. "Can I sit?" he asked motioning to the spot next to me. "I don't know. Can you?" I asked sarcastically." He sighed. "I'll take that as a yes." He's either an expert at sarcasm, or countering back with some sarcasm of his own. But I guess it was the first one since he popped a squat next to me.

I closed my one eye and leaned back against the tree. I was strangely relaxed. After what seemed like a half hour of silence he spoke up. "Listen I just wanted to apologize to you." "For what" I said without bothering to open my eyes, "you never did anything." "Exactly, I didn't do anything I should've. What kind of guy leaves a defenseless girl alone in a dangerous place?" he asked. "Hey I resent that" I said slightly irritated, "I'm not defenseless and being a girl has nothing to do with it." I said bitterly.

There was another silence, but this one was shorter. He sighed, "That's not what I meant," he said, "You're one tough cookie you know that." "I'm aware" I said with a crooked smile. "By the way, who told you I was attacked at the division 2 building." He smirked. "That Hotaru," I said to myself.

He laughed, "She has quite the reputation you know, you should feel honored. She never shows any emotion and never says more than necessary. Quite the friend once you get her to talk to you." he mused. I found myself smiling. There was something about this boy that made me happy.

"Ya'know," I said catching his attention, "I'm usually not comfortable around guys" I said and he looked at me. I pinched his cheeks. "Maybe its cuz you look like a girl." He turned red with embarrassment. I kissed his cheek, 'Don't worry you make a cute boy too." I said and I walked away.

When I was a good distance away I burst out laughing. He was just so much fun to tease. With my back turned I couldn't see him blush even redder than before and hold his cheek.

_Next Chapter: Curiosity is Annoying_


	6. Curiosity is Annoying

Hey Guys this is Jasmine. I'm sorry about the late update, but what can I say, I've been busy with exams and such. So anyway here's chapter 6 I hope you enjoy it even though this is a relatively boring chapter (except for the beginning anyway) Oh by the way the character of Temari is based on my best friend named Olivia, I decided to re-name her Olivia just for the simple fact that having an English name among Japaneese names seemed kind of…well weird. I tried to describe her as best I can but heres a brief overview of what she looks like. Tall around 5 feet 5 inches, but she's still thin. She has long black hair down past her back with bangs that are just barely covering her eyes. She has black eyes and tan skin. That's my bestie. Well okay enjoy the chapter.

Chapter 6: Curiosity is so Annoying

"Mikan I got a question" Ana asked. "What?" I asked opening one of my closed eyelids. We were at lunch so as usual I had my head down on the table. "Umm, don't be offended but….." there was a long pause. "Just spit it out!" "DO YOU EVER EAT?" I looked back at her with a bit of shock on my face. "I mean you never eat breakfast lunch or dinner its just not healthy, I mean it's your business but…" "ANNA," I said snapping her out of her little tirade. I started to giggle, "Its okay, yes, I do eat just not here." I laughed a little louder, "Why does this question always come up." All eyes at the table were on me now. They probably had been wondering the same thing. "I suppose you wouldn't believe me if I told you I was a cannibal."

"Uhhh no, but thanks for that riveting visual." she said, while pretending to gag. I rolled my eyes, "Whatever. Well first of all I don't eat lunch. It's just something my body got used to when I was little. And second of all, you see that woman over there." I pointed to a girl with long black hair, "Her name is Temari. She's my best friend even though she's five years older. She makes all my food personally and brings it to my room. Its kinda the only way we get to talk so I tend to eat breakfast WAY early and eat dinner WAY late." I laughed some more. "How I came across these eating habits is a long story."

"Did you know she was gonna be here?" Nonoko asked curiously. "No, it was all a huge coincidence, I ran into her while registering for classes. I didn't know she worked here, I hadn't seen her in years." I smiled as I remembered bumping into her. "But I guess I should have guessed she'd end up in a place like this." I said shaking my head.

"What do you mean by that?" Koko asked. I realized my slip, "Oh, nothing just talking to myself." I said trying to divert his attention. It didn't seem to work, because he tapped my shoulder and whispered, "Well wasn't that an obvious lie." I gulped, but he seemed to let it drop. Little did I know that he just wanted an excuse to touch me.

"Well anyway she makes me food and brings it to my room so we can eat together and talk about things." "Oh I see," Ana said, "but wait a minute, what time do you guys eat?" she asked "Around 4:30 in the morning and 10 at night on most days," I said. The looks on their faces was priceless. Koko dropped the piece of chicken that was in his mouth, Ruka snorted his soda, and Nonoko sprayed her water out of her mouth.

I started laughing, "She normally wakes up at that time anyway, and I'm an insomniac." I said in between laughs. The whole table then said in unison "Oh, okay" they said while cleaning themselves up. "Well now that that's cleared up I'll take my leave" I said getting up. "Ja." I felt their eyes on my back as I left the cafeteria

Temporarily Switch to 3rd Person:

The group watched her leave and then when she was gone Nonoko spoke up, "Alright Koko, we all know that you touched her just so you could read her mind, so tell us, did you find anything to blackmail--" Nonoko stopped mid-sentence. She had never seen her brother with such a serious face on. He put his hand on his forehead. "That was just about the worst vision I've ever had in my life." he said still not lifting his head up. "Koko?" Nonoko said worriedly. He looked up and the table was shocked to see he had tears in his eyes.

"Sorry, just give me a minute." he said. He took a deep breath and composed himself. "Alright I'm good." he said with a small grin. "What did you see?" Hotaru asked. "She doesn't want you to know, and trust me, you don't wanna know" "Fine," Hotaru sighed, "At least tell us what she meant when she said 'I always knew she would end up in a place like this'" she said. "Oh that," Koko said. "well that I can tell you about, it's not much of a secret since the police and the media were involved."

The whole table looked up at Koko. "She spent about 2 years in a foster home that would abuse their children. They would lock them up in their rooms without food and water for days on end. Mikan had it the worst. She would be put in the basement without seeing daylight or getting food for weeks at a time." The group grew silent. "Why was she treated the worst?" Ruka finally asked. "Tch. Her foster mother didn't like her face." he said disgustedly. The table looked equally disgusted. "Well anyway her foster parents had a real daughter and she was Temari. Every day she would wake up very early to bring Mikan food and every night after everyone was asleep she brought more. She would also talk to her and make her laugh. Temari always felt guilty whenever she had to go to school because she couldn't bring her something to eat in the hours in-between. Guess that's why she doesn't eat lunch." he said.

The group nodded as they tied the loose ends together. "Also explains why they still eat breakfast early and dinner late" Anna said. Koko nodded his head, "So anyway, Mikan began to see Temari as a sister. But as the years went by Temari's parents caught on to what she was doing. Temari was turning 18, and her parents were sending her away to university. At the same time Mikan's treatment was getting worse. She would be beaten everyday. Temari couldn't take it anymore so she went to the police, pretending to be a girl who escaped from the foster home. She saved all those kids and sent her own parents to jail" He said with a grin.

The group looked shocked, yet at the same time relieved. "Is that why Mikan's at this school?" Anna asked after the revelation was over. Koko's grin disappeared. "It goes deeper than that. Much deeper. What happened to her at that home, to her it was the best two years of her life." The group was shocked again, but more than that. They were confused. "How?" they began, but Koko cut them off. "That's all I'm gonna say." he said. Natusme, being the only one who was silent throughout Koko's entire story got up and walked away. He had the sudden urge to see the girl. He couldn't deny it; she had completely sparked his interest.

Switch back to Mikan's point of view:

I was leaning against a tree and was started to fall asleep when someone came up to me flicked my forehead and said, "Move you're in my spot."

I opened my eye and saw Natsume there. I simply closed it and said, "Well, you're in my face so now we're even" He rolled his eyes and sat down next to me. "You know," I said, "I don't know why everyone is so curious about me. I doubt I'm really that interesting."

"On the contrary you're very interesting," Natsume mumbled under his breath so I couldn't hear. "You said something?" I asked. He shook his head and said no. "Well we're all here for a reason," he said, "albeit most were forced, so it's only natural that the others will show some curiosity, it happens every time there's a new student here." he mumbled. "Did they bother you too?" I asked turning toward him. He laughed, "Oh yea big time. Plus since Ruka and I came at the same time it doubled the curiosity." he said.

I opened my closed eye, "I assume you knew each other beforehand." I said. He nodded warily. "Don't worry what happened to you in the past is your business, and I honestly don't wanna hear it, cause if its anything like mine, I can understand why you wouldn't want people to know." I said. He looked at me and smiled a bit. "What?" I asked. "Nothing, nothing, you're just a lot different from girls I'm used to. In fact I normally wouldn't talk to a girl this much." I nodded my head in understanding. "Dido, I feel the exact same way." I said.

There was a long but comfortable silence after that, but Mikan decided to break it. "Okay, one question I REALLY wanna ask you." I said, while turning in direction. "What?" he asked. "Now don't get offended or anything, but are your eyes naturally red, or are those just contacts?" I asked.

He laughed obviously expecting a different question. "Yes, my mother is part albino." he said sarcastically. He got up and started to walk away. I got up and started to follow him, "Come on I really wanna know." I said frowning. "You were just saying that other people's curiosity was annoying" he said with a smile in his voice. "Oh come on," I said, "it can't be annoying if the question merely requires a yes or no!" I could tell he was just teasing me but I was really annoyed. I cut in front of him.

When he tried to get in front of me again I simply blocked his path. I had my hands crossed against my chest and a look of defiance on my face. "Come on quit acting like a little kid and move out of the way." he said. "No" was all I said. After a few more times of the same pattern I said, "I could do this all day ya'know I could care less about class." "Move or I'll make you move" he said with a smirk. "Oh yea How-" I was cut off when he suddenly lifted me in his arms above the ground. "This is how." he said still smirking. "PUT ME DOWN!" I yelled kicking my legs. "No," he said simply. "Now stop squirming before I drop you" I smiled more defiantly and said, "Go ahead."

I could tell he was surprised to hear that. He lifted me up and dropped me suddenly, but I didn't make a sound or change my expression, and he quickly caught me before I hit the ground. He frowned when he saw I hadn't even flinched. "That's inhuman." he said shaking his head. I laughed, "Not really it's just that, if you drop me the worst that can happen is me getting a bruise. There's very little that I fear and falling is not one of them." I said a bit smug.

"Then what do you fear?" he said raising an eyebrow. I put my hand on his cheek and stroked it. I saw him turn a little pink under the touch and fought the instinct to burst out laughing, so I gave him three soft smacks to his cheek and said, "None of your business." I hopped out of his arms. "Bye!" I called walking away. While I was walking away I saw from the corner of my eye his hand on his cheek, and he mumbled something along the lines of "Her stupidity is contagious."

Hey me again, just one more thing, umm PLEASE read my other story "What a Horrible World" I put my heart and soul into that and I'd really appreciate some more opinions on it. Okay that's it. Adieu


	7. Mother's Day

This is the best chapter yet in my eyes. I'm sure you guys will feel very sympathetic toward Mikan by the end of it. Not that you weren't before you just will feel a little more. This is PART ONE of Mikan's past. Her childhood. This was not what sent her to the school. Most of you could pretty much guess what happened to send her to the school, but you'd be wrong. Well you'd be wrong in part. Well that's for a later chapter. A much later chapter. Bear with me and keep reading. And DON'T forget to review.

Oh and one more thing. Listen to My Lullaby by Maria Mena BEFORE you read this. It kinda sets the mood. Yes the song is somber but it's still really good and it kinda goes with Mikan's past.

Chapter 7: Mother's Day

"Okay class as you know this weekend is mother's day. So we're going to have an assignment" The whole class groaned. There were a couple of curses like 'fucking gay teacher' or 'drop dead' throughout the room. He pretended he didn't hear anything and continued "so anyway the assignment is to write letters to your mothers, which will either be sent or will not be sent on your choice. You are to write and tell her what you would like to say to her if you could see her. It can be either positive or negative; you just have to let out how you feel." Both Natsume and Mikan got up and walked out the door, leaving the class gaping.

They both headed toward their favorite tree. They continued to walk toward the tree and sat down. "Don't you wanna write a letter to your mom?" she asked sarcastically. He was silent and looked ahead. "No. I have tried to talk to her for years but she's won't listen to me, so in a sense I've given up trying." he said still faced forward. He then turned toward her and said, "What about you?" Mikan snickered, "Which one?" Natsume looked confused.

"I have the woman that gave birth to me, and my actual mom. To the first I just wanna tell her to drop dead, and if she is dead I wanna tell her to burn in hell. And to my actual mom, there's lots of things I wanna tell her." she paused, "It's just impossible for me to tell her them." "Why?" Natsume asked her. "She died six months ago." she said bitterly. "I'm sorry," Natsume said silently. "Yeah, me too." she said almost in a whisper. It was quiet for a long time. Natsume looked over his shoulder and saw that she was asleep.

He smiled a bit, but his smile faded as he saw the pained look on her face. "Mikan?" he called out to her. She was sweating and shaking. He was beginning to get worried. "Please, please don't leave me." she whispered in her sleep. Natsume didn't know whether he should wake her up or take her back to his dorm, but decided on the latter and carried her to his room.

_Dream: Ten Years Ago_

"_Mommy, Daddy look, look what I've got" a little girl said. "That's nice Mikan, but Mommy really has to go to work now." a woman said without bothering to look in her daughter's direction. Mikan looked disappointed and turned to her father. He shook his head at his wife. "Daddy look, I got a hundred on my test." She said to her father with a gap tooth grin. He smiled, ruffled her hair and kissed her forehead. "I'm so proud of you baby, now let me go take your grouch of a mother to work." Mikan laughed and said, "I love you daddy." He smiled back. "Hurry I'm gonna be late!" her mother called in an annoyed tone. "Bye Mommy." she called. But her mom just walked away. _

"_Daddy, DADDY!" Mikan screamed. Tears streamed down her face as her father slipped away. They were in a hospital and her father was in his final stages of cancer. "Baby, please don't cry" he said reaching over and holding her cheek. "It's just you and your mom now, so promise me you'll always take care of each other." he said. "O-okay," she stuttered in between sobs, "I'll t-t-try" she said. "Daddy….." she said. But he was gone and he was never coming back. _

_Mikan was on the floor. She had just been slapped by her mother. Her mother was pacing back and forth. "People coming up to me left and right telling me I'm a bad mother. Well they don't have to raise YOU-"She said pointing at her. She continued her pacing. Then stopped and said, "WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE. GO TO YOUR ROOM!" Mikan got up and ran to her room, tripping along the way. She went to her room and locked the door and leaned on the floor. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" she chanted over and over again until she started to fall asleep, and then she said, "Daddy please, please come back."_

"_You, come I'm taking you to the park."Mikan's mother said. Mikan was on the floor scrubbing tiles. She was shocked and stayed put. She thought it was a test. She wasn't allowed to leave the house except to go to school. It had been almost a year since her father died and there were new rules in the house. She wasn't allowed to leave her room for any reason besides chores, wasn't allowed to so much as touch the refrigerator, wasn't allowed to leave the house, and wasn't allowed to speak in the house. Her mother wanted it to be like she didn't even have a daughter. So thinking that this was a test Mikan continued to scrub the tiles. Her mother came up to her and grabbed her arm. "I said lets go." she said dragging her along the way. She dragged her to the park and then said, "Its 8:30, I'll pick you up at 12:00"she said nonchalantly. She walked away and left her there. _

_Mikan spent the whole time on the swings. It was no fun to be at the park by herself. There was no one in the park to play with either. She swung back and forth and back and forth. "Hey what're you doing here alone," a boy asked. He looked about 8 years old. He had blue spikey hair and matching blue eyes. He also had a star under his eye. "My mommy left me here. She says she'll be back soon. What's that" she said pointing at the star." "Oh you mean my tat- OW" he yelped. Behind him was a girl about the same age with hot pink hair. He had just slapped his head. "Don't believe him, it's not a tattoo its just sharpie that wouldn't come off." she said in between giggles. _

_Mikan laughed too. "Hey that's not funny." he said to the two girls who just wouldn't stop laughing. They played until it was 11:45. "Oh I really gotta go, my mommy's gonna be here soon." she said "Okay, bye Mi-chan, it was nice to meet you." they said. "Bye Misaki, bye Tsubasa"she called and ran to the entrance. Mikan waited patiently for her mother to come. But she didn't. She stood there for hours at the spot but she didn't leave, she didn't want to be hit again. She stayed put and sat down at the meeting spot. Then she saw the sun started to set._

_Something was wrong. Dead wrong. She ran to her house as fast as she could. When she got there her eyes widened. The door was open. She walked inside. "Mom?" she called but there was no answer. The lights were off and the house was empty. This was no robber, what robber steals everything inside the house? She went into her room, it was completely overturned. _

"_NO!" she yelled out. she looked down to the floor. The carpet was ripped open and a loose floorboard had been tossed away. "No!" she crashed on the floor. Her father had been saving up a dollar everyday since she was born. Everyday he put the money in a bag, under a loose floorboard. He told her to tell no one, not even her mother. It was gone. Her mother was gone. Her father had died. She was left abandoned. _

Mikan opened her eyes and saw she wasn't in her room. She saw Natsume asleep at the foot of the bed she was sleeping on. She wiped her face. She had been crying in her sleep. Natsume felt her movements and woke up. "So you're up" he said worriedly. He had no idea why he cared so much but he did, that's all that mattered. "Yea" she said, "I had a nightmare." He shook his head. "I think there's more to it than that." She looked away. "You know they say that the only way to get a person to open up is for the person to open up themselves. So how bout it? I'll tell you about my mom, and then if your up for it you can tell me about yours."

Longest chapter yet. And that's right, next chapter you get to hear Natsume's past. Which in a sense is also Ruka's past. Well review the story PLEASE! I will get very upset if there are no reviews. Okay that's enough of me throwing a mini-tantrum. ja ne.


	8. Things Better Off Forgotten

Hi People! This is the long awaited Chapter 8. Sorry it took so long but I'm on vacation. In fact I still am but I felt really guilty because I know how it feels to be kept

waiting, so i decided to post this anyway. Feel free to thank me for my awesomeness. lol. Okay there are two songs you DEFINITELY HAVE TO LISTEN TO when

reading this, they are "It's Hard to Say" by The Used (listen to this while reading Natsume's flashback. The song is so perfect and it completely shows how he feels.

The second song is "Conspiracy" by Paramore. If you haven't guessed this is where I got the title of this fic from. The song describes how Mikan feels like everyone is

against her, and how she feels like she can't trust anyone, even though she's not sure why she can't trust them. Those two songs are amazing. Okay so here's

chapter 8. Don't forget to review when you're done.

Oh and one more thing, I would like to say thank you to _ayumi klish. _We have such great conversations and I really like reading your comments so this chapter is

dedicated to you lol. 

_

* * *

__Last Chapter:_

_"You know they say that the only way to __get a person to open up is for the person to open up themselves. So how bout it? I'll tell you about my mom, and then if your up for it you can tell me about yours."_

Chapter 8: Things Better Off Forgotten

"What? NO!" I yelled covering my ears. This was definitely something I didn't want to hear. Not in the slightest. I don't want to get too personal with anyone here.

"Please, I really don't want to know. Your past is your business; you don't have to tell me anything." I said still covering my ears. He pried my hands from my ears

and placed them back on my lap. "I WANT to tell you, so you can feel free to plug your ears for all I care." He said shrugging. I didn't know what to say, should I tell

him no, or leave the room? But I was too late because he already began talking.

_Flashback: Natsume's POV_

"_Oniichan, wait for me" my annoying little sister called out. I stopped to let her catch up. "You move too slow Aoi, I swear if I don't wake you up in the morning or set the _

_pace to walk you'll be 10 years late for class!" I said. "You're so mean." She said frowning. I smiled inwardly. Being mean to your little sister comes with the territory of being _

_an older brother. We continued to walk in silence until Aoi broke it. "Oniichan the fire marshal is coming to our class today, my sensei says he's gonna teach us how to act in _

_a fire." she said with her gap-tooth smile. "Aoi, you're 5 years old, I doubt there's anything you can do." I said, keeping my walking pace. "I CAN SO!" she shouted. "Watch _

_and see, I'll show you how useful I can be." she said with that same gap-tooth grin. "Sure, the day we end up in a situation involving a fire you can 'show me'" I said _

_sarcastically. "You don't sound very convinced" she said. I sighed, "Whatever Smokey, lets just get to class." We walked into the school gates, when I heard Ruka behind us._

_ "Hey Natsume, hi Aoi-chan" he said. "Hi Ruka" I said. "Morning, Usa-chan" Aoi beamed. "Aoi-chan, please don't call me that." Ruka said. He looked at me with a frown and I _

_tried really hard to suppress a laugh. "WHY DID YOU TELL HER I WAS A GIRL NAMED USAGI?" he yelled. By this time I couldn't hold my laughter in any longer. In between _

_laughs I uttered, "You can't blame her; I thought you were a girl when I first met you too." He sighed and said, "Why does everybody say that."_

* * *

_I walked home from school exhausted. We had a massive basketball game during gym, and the boys wanted a re-match after class. My team one of course, but at the _

_expense of some sore muscles. We were finally home and I was about to crash on the couch when Aoi called to me, "Oniichan I'm hungry, can you make me something." _

_She asked. I grunted. Normally I would in fact make her something to eat, but as of now I was too tired to do more than breathe. "Aoi, I'm too tired. Mom and Dad will be _

_home in a half hour, just hold out till then. And whatever you do, DO NOT, and I repeat, DO NOT, use the microwave." I said before passing out. I should have known better. _

_I should have known Aoi would never listen to me._

* * *

_It's hot. Too hot. What is this? I could feel myself sweating, and it was getting harder and harder to breathe. I felt like I was dying and all my senses seemed to be working _

_at once. I could smell smoke thick in the air, I could feel intense heat on my skin. I could hear crackling. It was all like a fire. "THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!" I realized. My eyes _

_shot open and I saw the house ablaze. I crawled off the sofa and scanned for my baby sister. "AOI" I yelled in between coughs. I crawled to the kitchen and saw her, _

_collapsed on the floor. "No, No, NO!" I yelled. This could not be happening. I felt her neck and there was a faint pulse. I tried my best to pull her out but heavy debris had her_

_ legs caught. I crawled out of the kitchen. "HELP!" I yelled over and over again I tried to crawl to the door to get help from next door. I was almost at the door when part of _

_the roof collapsed on top of me._

_End of Natsume's POV_

* * *

_Natsume and Aoi's parents were driving home when they saw a heavy smog in the air. As they got closer and closer to their house they prayed silent prayers that their _

_children were safe. But as they pulled up to their house their worse fears were realized. "Oh God, No" they both said as they rushed out of the car. "I got one kid" a _

_firefighter said as they pulled a charcoal covered Natsume out of the doorway. Then the unthinkable happened. Part of the roof caved in. "AOI!" her parents yelled out they _

_charged toward the house. The firefighters pulled them back. "It's not safe in there even we have to pull out." one of them said. "You don't understand," her father said in _

_between tears, "Our daughter is still in there." The firefighter shook his head, "I'm sorry" he said. They fell to their knees as they watched the flames take their house, and _

_their daughter._

_End Flashback_

* * *

I started to cry, who wouldn't after hearing something like that. Natsume's voice was shaky but he continued. "After Aoi died, my father took up the bottle, he never

came home on time and he never paid any attention to me or my mother. My mom was devastated after Aoi died. She would cry all the time, and in the time she

wasn't crying she would blame me. She said I wasn't being responsible enough. That I let her use the microwave. Then that escaladed, she said that I was the one

who killed her. She called me a murderer. Over time, I slowly began to believe it was true. Then-" He looked hesitant, like this was the one bit of information he

hated to repeat. "Then I tried…..I tried to kill myself." he said in a thin whisper. He looked me in the eyes. I don't know what he saw but he hung his head low. "I

can't believe I did that now. I can't believe that I tried to commit suicide. I was only 9 years old." he said, slowly raising his head. After I recovered, and had some

massive therapy, they sent me here. They weren't fully convinced that it was okay to send me back home, my father was out of the picture and my mother needed

some counseling also. I begged and begged not to be sent to a foster home. So they told me about this place, and I agreed to come. I tried over and over to ask my

mom for forgiveness-forgiveness I might add for something that wasn't my fault- but she wouldn't forgive me, she wouldn't open up her cold heart to realize that

what happened was beyond my control. Maybe one day she'll wake up and realize that it wasn't my fault." he said. I looked at him, my eyes swarmed with tears. I

had no idea what to say, I ranked my brain but I had no idea what should be said. "What about Ruka?" I whispered. "How did he get here?" This seemed to be a

lighter topic he looked up and gave a small smile. "After he heard I was going to be sent away he faked being violent and depressed. Ruka was actually originally

under division 2 but under further evaluation they placed him in 3." He snickered, "Ruka, LITERALLY, wouldn't hurt a fly, he would fake every evaluation they put him

under, Ruka isn't depressed and he's far from being violent. When I asked him why he went through all that fuss for me he just smiled and said that he didn't want

me going through everything alone. I still haven't a clue why he did all of that, but I'm glad he did." I smiled a little bit, but it was weak. I felt so helpless. How can

shrinks stand to listen to this kind of stuff over and over again? I feel like I have a huge pile of lead on my chest. But at the same time I feel oddly happy. He trusts

me. He wants me to know this about him. In a weird way I feel like I've known him for years. Kinda like when you read a book or watch a movie you feel like you

know the characters when you really don't. I couldn't resist anymore so I hugged him. In a book when something happens to a character there is nothing you can do

but wait it out until the character recovers. But this is not a book. He is a real person, someone I know, someone I can comfort. Even though I have no idea how to

comfort a person, but this had to be close enough. Natsume seemed a little stiff at first, probably not used to close contact. I was going to let go, but then he

returned my hug. I felt heat go up to my face. Embarrassment? It didn't seem like it. I looked up only to see his equally flushed face. We both turned away at the

same time. After I felt calm enough to talk I glance up at him. I didn't even realize that he had his hand cradling my head against his chest. It would've been normal

for me to want to pummel him, but I didn't want to. I actually had the urge to relax and enjoy the moment, but I knew I couldn't. Besides I felt like I was loosing

myself fast; I was acting completely out of character. So I pulled away slightly because I had something that was important for me to say. I can't tell him about my

past, I just can't. It also has something to do with trust. And I know what your thinking 'How can you not trust him after he's just told you all of that' well the answer

to that is I do. I do trust him on that level, I do trust that he will keep my secrets, but I can't trust him on another level. How can I trust that he won't look at me

differently after I tell him what happened to me? How can I trust that he won't remain my friend out of pity instead of who I am? "Listen, I'm really happy that you

told me all this, but I really don't want to talk about my life. And I know it may seem messed up because you just spilled your entire life story to me, but please

understand that this is one thing I wanna keep to myself. You unders-" I was cut off by shock. He cupped my cheeks in his hands "I understand." he whispered. He

leaned in closer. Oh God. I'm not ready for this kind of development. I turned my face to the side at the last minute. "Sorry" I whispered. He sighed and kissed my

forehead. It seemed like a gesture he was settling for. "It's okay, I'll just have to wait till you're ready." he said with a smile. His words seemed to have a double

meaning hidden in them. But I guess that he wouldn't tell me anything other than that. I got up and headed for the door. "Don't complain that you're waiting a very,

very, long time." I said while walking out. I hope he didn't see that I had my fingers crossed.


	9. A Delayed Apology

Hey guys its Jasmine, I'm still waiting on more people to do the poll on my page so be sure to vote, I need to know by the end of the week. Okay here is the long awaited chapter. It's the longest and the best I've ever written, so honestly I feel proud D

Okay so anyway, Mikan's past is told fully in this chapter, and honestly its not pretty. I cried as I wrote parts of it. I hope you like it, but don't hate me for making it too sad. The song that goes with this chapter is Monster by Meg and Dia. It's my favorite song of all time so I'd really appreciate it if you would listen to it. I even put part of it in it ) okay now be sure to review after you read.

_That night he caged her_

_Bruised and broke her_

_He struggled closer_

_Then he stole her._

Monster by: Meg and Dia

Okay if you see the logic in this tell me what it is, because surely I don't understand it. I've been at this school close to one week and everyone is sticking to me like glue. I mean one would say that I should be happy to make friends so quickly, but hello! Have you people noticed my personality? It doesn't exactly scream 'Hey I'm the peachiest girl on the planet let's be friends' but nevertheless people like me, for reasons beyond my understanding.

For example, ever since that day Hotaru saved me, me and her would walk to classes together. Simple enough, right? Wrong. Everybody and I mean everybody slows their pace just to gawk at us. It's beyond annoying since one of my peeves is slow walkers. I completely understand that she had a reputation before but come on people, get over it. Natsume and Ruka are completely weird. They're constantly glaring at any guy who tries to talk to me, even each other. Well I should thank them for scaring the unwanted attention away from me anyway.

Anna and Nonoko have turned into mother hens. Anna insists on making me eat lunch EVERY day. I think she would tie me down if she had to. Nonoko gave me some strange pills to help me sleep better. I haven't taken them though, I'm too used to staying up all night, and I don't think I can really get used to actually sleeping at night. Okay maybe I am just putting up a front. I like that I have people to talk to and I like that I have people who care about me. Maybe I'm just not used to it.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when my name came on the loud speaker calling me to the principal's office. There were loud whispers in the classroom. "Come on people are you 16 or are you 5?" I asked rolling my eyes. I walked toward the office and opened the door. Then I slammed it shut immediately. What the hell are they doing here? They should be at college, or at home with our snooty aunt and uncle. I began to run. Where was I going? Anywhere. It didn't matter. I heard people behind me calling my name urging me to stop. But I didn't. I couldn't. I kept running until I was outside of the building, but then I tripped and crashed my face against solid concrete. Everything around me faded to black.

_Flashback:_

_His lips were suffocating. There was so much want, lust, and power put into that one kiss. I recovered from my shock and shoved him off me. "What're you doing Li; I just told you that I don't like you that way." He grabbed me hard and shoved me against a tree. "You speak as if I care what you think." My eyes widened. I squirmed and moved to get out of his grip. He tightened his hold on me. I yelped. It hurt so badly._

_I could feel his hands forming rings around my arms. I kneed him in the stomach, and tried to get away, but he grabbed my long hair. "You're not going anywhere." he whispered. He yanked my hair and grabbed my arms again. He pinned my arms above my head, and tried to unbutton my shirt. I kicked him and spit on him. He then pulled me off the tree and pushed me to the ground. My head crashed against a rock. That finished my struggle. I was only semi-conscious but I could still feel the pain as he disappeared inside me._

_I woke up in the middle of the forest. The sun hadn't risen yet; everyone was still lying peacefully in their beds. My throat was hoarse and my legs were sore. I wanted to move but it hurt too much. All I could do was stare directly ahead. I had been left naked in the blood and dirt. I eventually moved my numb legs and dressed myself robotically. I began to walk in no particular direction. Did it really matter where I was going? What if I were to disappear right now? I wondered what the others would make of my sudden disappearance._

_I then noticed my surroundings. I was back at the cabins. I made my way to the bathing house and went in. Without bothering to undress I turned it on and let the water fall into the drain, along with dirt, and my own blood. I took off my clothes slowly and took a bar of soap that had been left behind. I scrubbed and scrubbed, desperately trying to get the feel of that, that, Monster off of me. My skin turned pink and I grabbed a nearby towel. _

_I wrapped it around me without caring if someone saw me. I left behind my clothes, reminders of what had happened. I made my way to my cabin where my friends lay sleeping, not noticing me walking in. I walked over to my things and put on my nightgown. It was just for show, since we would have to wake up in about a half hour anyway. To everyone's knowledge, I had been here all night._

_My eyes hazed over they became dull, and no longer shone like they used to. It seemed like life went on and left me behind. Like the world kept spinning in full rotation but I was standing still. My soul had been stolen from me. How many days I lived without a reason for living, but I knew that I would survive, I knew that one day the pain would become dull and would cease to hurt me anymore. But I never tried to speed up the process. It seemed reality escaped me, but one can only go so long before reality eventually catches up with them._

_I was walking to school, but excruciating pain overtook me. I tried to keep walking but it hurt so badly. I crouched down in the middle of the street. Someone came up to me; I think they asked if I was okay, I didn't answer. I saw that blood was forming at the front of my skirt. The person probably said something about calling an ambulance, but I said nothing and fainted._

_I woke up in a hospital. I then remembered what happened. A nurse came in and passed me an information chart. I put random and false answers. I needed to pretend to be eighteen so my parents wouldn't be contacted. Soon after that a doctor came in. "Miss," he looked at the chart, "Azumi, Its rather unfortunate for me to tell you that the fetus you were carrying did not survive. I am so sorry." he didn't seem sorry at all. I was just one of the many people he would tell this type of news to, but that didn't matter._

"_I was pr-pr—pregnant." I voiced out. "Yes, for three months," he checked my chart to be sure he didn't get it wrong. I had been so out of it these past few months, I never even realized. I couldn't bring myself to feel remorse; there was no other emotion present other than shock. That made me feel guilty. How can I feel no remorse when there was a child that would never be born? I felt even worse when I realized I was relieved._

_I was relieved that there would be no questions when my belly got too big to hide anymore, I was relieved that people wouldn't look down at me, or ridicule me behind my back, I was relieved that I would never have to tell anyone I had been raped. That that Monster going around my school would not take one look at my swollen stomach and smirk knowing he had been the one who did it. That Monster that's going around with his arms draped around different girls shoulders. He's shown his true colors now, a skirt chaser who will get at nothing to get what he wants. My relief wouldn't come without punishment. What I perceived as a blessing turned out to be a curse in disguise. _

"_Miss Azumi did you hear me?" the doctor called out to me. "Huh?" I asked as he distracted me from my thoughts. He sighed, "I said that there was so much damage to your uterine walls that your chances of future conception is minimal." he said. I struggled to comprehend what he was telling me, it couldn't be true, it just couldn't. "What?" I choked out. "I'm sorry, but you may not be able to have children in the future." _

_With those final words, in that instant all that I knew shattered, and there was no longer a reason for anything. With the news of my barren womb, I finally cracked. Things would not get better and I would never be the same. The pain would never go away. I had any chance to ever have a future, to ever have a family, stolen from me. _

_When I left the hospital, it was raining. I was glad for it, that way no one could see me crying. When I was a good distance away I saw a woman hugging a baby close to her chest while a man held an umbrella above both of them. That would never be me. I fell to my knees and mumbled, "What have I done in my life to deserve this? What the hell am I doing so wrong? Why is there a conspiracy against me being happy" There was deafening silence. Nothing audible but my breathing and the sound of the rainfall._

"_Sakura-san, Sakura-san, SAKURA!" I was stirred awake by my old geezer of a teacher. "What do you want?" I said. "How dare you sleep in my class and then you have the audacity to be so rude." he yelled. "I'm so sorry Jinno-sensei really I am," I said faking innocence, "I merely forgot to feign interest in your class." At tat he was fuming with anger. "THAT'S IT, GET OUT OF MY CLASSROOM THIS INSTANT!" he yelled. I smiled, "With pleasure, Jin-jin." I said standing up._

_There were loud whispers in the class, "What happened to Mikan? Ever since the camping trip she's been so…..different." said one. "What happened to the happy girl we used to know?" said another. "Who cares about a stupid goth." said another before I was out the door. Goth huh? I guess that's what you can call me, with this sudden change of style I got here. I pretty much threw my entire wardrobe away this year. There was a change of clothes, a change of attitude, and a change of heart. No one understood, nor did they even try to understand. As emo as it sounds, the only one who understood was my diary. A little blue book that knew everything I've ever been through. But soon that book too was lost._

_Class you have an essay on a quote you make up on your own…………….." Life is an obligation you can't escape._

End of Flashback

I was awake to a white room with blinding lights. Yep, it's definitely a hospital. I sat up and froze as I saw two girls in chairs sitting to my right. "I have to get out of here." I whispered. I scanned the room for my clothes but found none. Then a nurse decided to come in at the worst moment. "Oh you're awake." she said waking up the other two. "Mikan! Thank God you're okay; the doctor said you may have had a concussion."

I rolled my eyes. Doctors will seriously do anything for money. Seriously, a concussion from bumping my head on pavement? "We really needed to talk to you, so we went to your school and had a chat, with your principal he said it'd be okay and he called you to his office." Talk? What about? What do the two sisters that abandoned me possibly have to tell me? "I don't need to listen to you, now get the hell out." I spat. I don't even want to look at them anymore. They held up a little blue book. My eyes widened, it was my diary. They turned pages and began to read.

_March 26, 2007_

_After all that's happened why this and why now? Why does dad have to go crazy at the worst time? Both of my sisters are away at college so they aren't here to see this. Dad seems to come into the habit of drinking till he passes out. When he's wasted he seems to think its fun to use mom as a target. I keep telling her to leave, but she insists on staying. She says she needs to stay for my sake, to take care of me. Why is she being so stubborn? Doesn't she know that I've taken care of myself all my life? I'd feel a lot better if she would just leave and let me be on my own._

_April 2, 2007_

_I don't know what to do anymore. Dad put mom in the hospital! I can't take this anymore, I'm right about to just go to the police. My sisters are having a major fuss wondering how she 'fell down the stairs'. I can't take much more of this before I crack. Not to mention my damn school keeps getting on my back every single day, sending me to the guidance counselor, saying I need counseling. Please, all I need is for everyone to just leave me alone. All that matters now is my mom, and I've got to get her out of this damn house once and for all before it kills her._

_April 15, 2007_

_The worst thing that can ever happen happened. Mom died. It's all my fault; I can't believe I didn't do more for her. I loved her so much. Why is it that the people I love always get hurt? And now my sisters are against me. They keep saying that I should have gone to the police the moment this happened. They say that her dying is all my fault. They even barred me from her funeral. How could they do that? I never got the chance to say goodbye to the only mother I'd ever known. The only woman I could be proud to call my mother. I loved her so much. Now since I'm still sixteen I still have to stay with my aunt and uncle. Please like they care, they blame me as much as my sisters do. They're going to send me to some boarding school so they'll never have to see me again. It's great to know that when things get rough they all fall apart._

They were all crying. Their tears where sincere and I could tell they were honestly sorry. But I couldn't bring myself to forgive them. I couldn't forgive them from keeping me away from mom. I couldn't forgive them for abandoning me to some school where they'll never have to see me again. "We're so sorry, we just needed someone to blame and you were the scapegoat. We love you Mikan, and we betrayed you." They looked solemn. I stood up and walked in front of them. "I'll forgive you, someday. But right now, I don't wanna have to deal with this." I saw that my clothes were on the floor so I picked them up and went to the bathroom to change. When I came back out they were already gone.

"She's taking a really long time; she left for the principal's office four hours ago." Anna said worriedly. Koko and Nonoko nodded in agreement. "The idiot is probably just cutting class." Hotaru said working on a project. She said that but truthfully was a little worried. Natsume looked up from his book and saw her vacant seat in front of him. He closed the book and got up and went out the door. "Wait up Natsume." Ruka called out following him. "What's up with those two?" Nonoko asked curiously. Koko snickered, "Those two are whipped."

"Natsume, are you gonna look for Sakura?" Ruka called out. Natsume didn't answer, but he didn't have to. Frankly it was fairly obvious. Ruka was so confused. Never in his life had Natsume gotten so worked up about a girl, and of all girls why did it have to be Mikan, the girl HE had his sights on. He couldn't deny it. He was thoroughly attracted to her. She was beautiful, smart, and could give anyone a run for their money with her sharp tongue. But despite her sarcastic attitude, there's just something about her that attracted other people to her.

"Natsume, why are you so interested in Sakura?" Ruka asked worriedly. Natsume didn't answer, he just kept walking. Ruka was getting frustrated, "Don't ignore me Natsume; I'm your best friend." he said. At that Natsume stopped. Natsume wasn't stupid, he knew Ruka had feelings for Mikan; he was just to shy to even have a full conversation with her. "The same reasons you are." he muttered. Realization hit him. They both loved the same girl. "Let the games begin" Ruka muttered under his breath.

Okay I tried to end it on a lighter note, the next chapter will be fairly entertaining, or at least I intend for it to be, I'm not exactly where I'm going with the while Natsume and Ruka rivalry because that originally it was an EXTREMELY minimal part of my story. And sorry to Ruka fans but I essentially forgot about his role in the story in my desire to Natsume and Mikan intimate scenes. Well there are plenty of those I'll give you that much. Temari will also be premiering soon. Her personality and appearance is completely based on my best friend. Okay, and with that I bid you good night since its almost 1:00 in the morning here lol

ja ne


	10. Mutual Understanding

The love of a family

Hi Guys, I'm glad you liked my last chapter. I was so happy to get so many good reviews from everybody. I think last chapter I got the most reviews I've ever gotten. Thank you so much for reading this, and I really put my heart into it. Nothing really exciting in particular happens in this chapter, but I'm pretty sure I'm gonna have some squealing reviews lol but that's all I'm gonna tell you. Well anyway enjoy the chapter

Chapter 10: Mutual Understanding

The love of a family. It's unconditional, obligatory, most of the time it comes with birth. So why was I born without it? Why did I have to scour the planet in the search of it? But that's the unimportant question. The more important question is, 'Why after I had finally found it, it just slipped through my fingers?' Mom. She was the most selfless person I had ever met. When I had first met her I had just ran away from my foster home, and was living on the streets. You don't even want to know how many people saw me there, a twelve year old little girl begging for change, and just passed me by.

When she first saw me she looked disgusted. At first I thought it was my appearance or my smell, so I sank deeper into the corner I was sitting at. But no, that's not why she was disgusted as I came to find out. She was disgusted that so many people had seen a child on the streets and just passed her by. She sat down and reached out to me. I cringed thinking she was about to strike me, but what she did shocked me. She embraced me. I felt so touched that silent tears fell down my face.

She lifted me up and put me in her car. She asked me my name, so I told her 'Mikan'. That's it. No last name. They teased me about this at foster homes calling me Mikan Blank. Not very witty, I know, but it hurt all the same. "Well Mikan," she said, "from now on, you're Mikan Sakura." I almost died in happiness. I wiped the tears I had been crying and I smiled as I thought about her; she was such an amazing person.

I was walking from the hospital and was heading back to the school, which I had come to learn was about three blocks away. It was good to know considering how much of a klutz I am. Now that I think about it, it was so easy to get out of the school. How come nobody every tried to escape? But then it hit me. Where would they go? Live on the streets? Been there done that, I know from experience how horrible that is, and after knowing what it's like I doubt anyone would self-impose that on themselves.

I continued to walk toward the school when I saw a little café. I went in and ordered a coffee. It had been so long since I've had decent caffeine in my system unlike the cheap stuff they serve at the school. I then continued to walk toward the school and checked a clock. Class had been over for an hour already. I went to my room and flicked the lights and Natsume was sprawled on my bed.

"What are you doing in my room you stalker?!" I asked annoyed. "Nothing much," he said "just enjoying the drab scenery in what you call a room." I looked around the room, I hadn't put anything in it except my clothes since I moved in but nonetheless I like it. It was cozy. "Well excuse me for having a boring room." I said as I widened the door. "Now if you'd mind?" I said pointing outside. He got up and looked me straight in the eye and pulled me into a tight hug. I squirmed and kicked. "Get off of me, you damn perv!" I said growing more annoyed. "Why have you been crying?" he whispered into my hair. I stopped.

How could he possibly be able to tell, I was sure to remove any traces that I'd been crying. "I don't know what you're talking about." I chocked out. He scoffed, "You're a bad liar, ya' know, I can see it in your eyes." It was silent for a while then I then decided to tell him. "I saw my sisters today." I said. "Mmmm," he said, "good or bad thing." "Bad," I responded, "very bad." He turned me to look at my face. "Why?" he asked. I was wary now, should I really tell him? Then I looked in his eyes and somehow I knew that I could, I knew that I could very well trust him with my life. Why? I'm not quite sure.

I leaned into my jacket pocket and pulled out my little blue book and handed it to him. "What's this?" he asked. "My journal. I wrote about all the major things that happened to me since I was five. I don't really feel like saying everything from my own mouth." I said. He took it and surveyed it with his hands and finally said, "This book is pretty small for having ten years worth of writing in it." I shrugged, "I didn't write that frequently in it." I looked up he still had his arms around me. "Ahem" I said hoping he would take the hint. He smirked and lifted me up like I weighed nothing. "Put me down!" I demanded. "Okay." he said plopping me on my bed.

"What was that for?" I asked angrily. He shrugged, "You look tired, you should get some sleep while I read your novel." he said. I scowled, but I knew better than he did that I was exhausted. "Fine" I bit out, "but if you so much as TRY to touch me--" "Oh get over yourself polka-dots" he scoffed.

It took a while to register what he was talking about. "Stay out of my drawers you peeping tom!" I said embarrassed. I had to remind myself to lock my door from now on. I turned on my stomach. I couldn't give him the satisfaction of letting him see me embarrassed, plus I slept that way anyway.

_Dream:_

_There was nothing but pitch black abyss. There was no sound. I felt like I was trapped inside a black whole. I had no way of knowing how long it had been. It could have been an hour, or it could have been a few minutes, I had absolutely no idea. There was nothing but me and the darkness, and I felt what any eight-year-old would feel in my situation. Fear, boredom, confusion, but on top of all of those, insanity. I'd been locked in the basement, God knows how long. It felt like years, but judging from how often Temari brought me food it was about a week. _

_Temari. Without her I probably would be dead by now. She brought me small things like cereal bars, fruit and sandwiches. Sure it was scant, but what more could I ask for, a full course meal? She was so pretty and in my eyes an angel that came to rescue me. When the police finally caught on and got me out of that place, the only thing I missed was her._

Dream End: (temporarily 3rd person)

"Temari." Mikan whispered in her sleep. Natsume stroked her head. He couldn't imagine how someone could survive all the things she had to live through, all the running away, all the abuse. He wanted to take it all away, and help her to be herself again. Now that he knew what she had went through, he felt more like a coward, for trying to commit suicide.

Never in her journal had she written about wanting to die, she said that she wanted to live on, and try to keep what's left of the promise she made of her father, to be happy. Most of all he wanted to track down this Li- son of a bitch and murder him. He gritted his teeth. If he were to ever see him, he would be sure to make him suffer. He kissed her forehead. Now that he fully understood her he loved her more. He pulled up next to her and lay asleep beside her.

Ruka had given up searching for Mikan some time ago and part of him hoped Natsume had too. He sighed. He hated where all of this was going, it appeared that both he and his best friend were going to have to vie for Mikan's attention. He wasn't sure how this was all going to turn out in the end, but he hoped that he would turn out the victor. Little did he know that he had already lost.

Okay so that's the chapter. Please review, it really makes me happy. Temari comes out in the next chapter. Later guys.


	11. Extra Chapter One: Hotaru

Hey guys It's me again. This is the first part of the extra chapter I talked about posting a while ago. I know what your thinking, why not post them all together. Well

for one, I haven't come up with the other stories yet, I'm still brain storming. The only one I have completely in my head is Hotaru's which is why I'm posting hers

first. The extra chapter will have three parts in total, and this is the first. I hope you enjoy it.

* * *

Extra Chapter Part One: Hotaru's Story

Hotaru's POV

I looked up at the sky, it's raining again. I hate the rain, it's so melodramatic. In every scene or movie that involves rain something bad always happens. It's as if

there are people waiting on cue to let a downpour fall on you. It just so happens that on the day I came to this school it was raining. I took a glance at the scars on

my arm. They shouldn't hurt, but somehow every time I look at them I can feel the sting, although I know I can't.

* * *

_Flashback: Ten Years Ago_

"_And the Award for 'Best Innovation in the World of Technology' goes to……Keisaku Imai" I cheered as loudly as I can as my daddy went to claim his award. My father _

_was __one of the most amazing scientists of his generation. He was said by all the magazines to change the world one day. I was proud to call him my father, but at that time _

_I __wondered, 'Is he proud of me?' My mother died giving birth to me, so I never was the girliest girl out there, I'd much rather play sports or video games, and my baby _

_sitters __could never get me to put a dress on. I would sometimes play with my father's suits. I admired him that much. Now I realize that I never really knew my father. We _

_almost __never talked and whenever he saw me, he would throw me a mint and continue on with his work. All of the maids and baby sitters would always talk about him _

_though, __they said he was handsome and ingenious and that's why I loved him. I tried hard in school to make him proud of me, but when I showed him a good mark, all he _

_would do __is ruffle my hair and continue doing whatever he was working on._

* * *

"_Hotaru, how would you like to help me with an experiment." my father asked me. I was ecstatic. "I would love it!" I said completely excited. Imagine your hero _

_asking you __to be their sidekick, that's exactly how I felt. He said that all I would have to do is take pills with water. I did whatever he asked without even asking why. After _

_about a __week of me taking the pills he told me that he had to look at my brain. I thought it would be so cool so I immediately agreed to the MRI. When it was over I asked _

_my dad if __he had found anything. He ran up to me lifted me off the floor and kissed me. He said the experiment was a success. I was so happy that I had helped him, but _

_then __months after the experiment I began to feel funny. Whenever someone would touch me I couldn't feel it. I would trip at school and would bleed, but I couldn't feel _

_anything. __Then a maid caught me at home with a knife in my hand. I had sliced my arm. She ran up to me and her ees widened as she looked at the cut. She examined my _

_arms and __saw scars from other times I had tried to cause myself pain. "I can't feel anything." I told her without emotion. They rushed me to the hospital. After many tests _

_and __another MRI, the doctor told my nanny that my nerves were completely shot. I had lost my sense of touch. I couldn't feel pain, and I couldn't be tickled, I could no _

_longer __feel anything. The doctor asked me to leave the room. I overheard them whispering. My nanny told him it was my father. Apparently my father had been _

_experimenting __with pain killers at the time, and had used me as his subject. The MRI he had done on me had shown that while under the influence of the drug, I had felt no _

_pain. Now I __was suffering the permanent side effect. Human testing on drugs is strictly forbidden until years of testing had been conducted on animals. My father knew _

_this, but he had __tested his drug on me anyway. He used his six-year old daughter for experimentation. It was all over the news, my father's past achievements were _

_discredited and he lost __his job. As for me I was taken into custody by the state. I was put in more foster homes than I could remember. Then when I was ten, a guidance _

_counselor deemed I was __a suicide risk after seeing the scars on my arms. I had never even thought about suicide actually, the scars she saw on her arm were from when I _

_tried to get myself to __feel pain, but I didn't argue. They sent me to Gakuen Alice. On that day it was raining harder than I ever could imagine. During school I was deemed _

_the 'Ice Queen' __because I never showed any emotion. It was a suitable title for me I must say, since I couldn't feel anything. _

* * *

Most people think that pain is an unnecessary feeling, and that they would surely do without it if they could. But those people have never been stripped of the

sense of touch. They have no idea how I long to feel pain, or to feel anything for that matter. I am like a walking doll and I'll always be that way. But I've moved on.

I have accepted that I will probably never fid someone who loves me. I have accepted that people will forever call me 'cold' and 'unfeeling'. But they should

understand, it's not by choice.

* * *

_Next Extra Chapter: Nonoko and Koko's Story_

_One of the most cliché things in sitcom is the story of two twins separated at birth and finally meet each other through some weird coincidence. Well imagine if that actually _

_did happen know-a-days. You would think I'd be impossible right? Wrong. It's oh-so possible. And we learned that the hard way._


	12. Realization over Ramen

Will all the twilight fans please stand…err speak up, and squeal with me as I say OMG I LOVE BREAKING DAWN!! Yes I'm an INSANE twilight fan, I've read all of Stephenie Meyer's books including The Host at least twice (thrice for the first book) with the exception of the newest edition of course, I mean no one can read a 700 page novel, twice in 3 days, that's freakish. So that's enough fan squealing.

I decided to change up the format again, let me know if you like the old one better or not, I thought this might be easier for you guys

Here is chapter eleven. I'm pretty sure you guys will like this one because it has a lot of wish fulfillment (probably an exaggeration but you get what I mean) and the cameo I kept blabbing on and on about that my best friend would make an appearance is finally here. Also I'm debating whether I should bring Misaki and Tsubasa back. I have only a vague idea of how I'll be able to do that and they're only going to be there for an EXTREMELY short time but be sure to let me know what you guys think. Ok so here ya' go.

* * *

Chapter 11: Realization over Ramen

I was awake but I still hadn't opened my eyes. I welcomed sleep to take me again. But it seemed it wasn't meant to be since I lay there awake for quite some time. I turned over and felt something soft at my side. I put my hands on it. Yep there was definitely something there. I raised my head and saw Natsume asleep on my bed. "You pervert." I whispered under my breath.

I looked at the time. It was almost ten o'clock. "Wow I actually slept a long time." I whispered. Temari should be coming soon for dinner. I looked back at him; he seemed to be dead asleep. I sighed, might as well let him sleep till he wakes up, though I have no idea how I'm gonna explain a half dead boy sleeping on my bed to Temari.

I moved a few hairs off of his face, and he grabbed my hand. He smirked, "Trying to molest me in my sleep huh?" I rolled my eyes. "Please be serious for 1) you're the one who snuck into my bed, 2) you're the one who went through my underwear drawer, and 3) I'm pretty sure I can do much better than you." I said laughing and counting off of my fingers. He didn't look amused. He pulled me down so that I was on his chest. "You're such a pervert!" I said annoyed. I squirmed and kicked but he had an iron-grip on me. When I looked at his face I saw he was trying hard not to laugh. "You're such an ass." I said still trying to break free. He let the laugh out and said "Okay, okay calm down." he said loosening his grip a bit. Instead he had leisurely had his arm around my shoulders.

I sighed and made myself more comfortable at his side. There was silence for a while and then I noticed that my journal was on the nightstand. "You finished reading. I suppose" I said. I focused my attention on a spot on the wall and braced myself for the pity trip. "Yeah I did." He sighed. He ran his fingers through my hair. I closed my eyes and waited for it to come, the river of pity. I was used to it by now.

"I know I should probably say something but, I'm at a loss for words." I sighed, "Don't say anything, you don't have to." I said eagerly. Hopefully he would drop the subject and wouldn't push the words out of his mouth. There's nothing he could possibly say to me that I haven't hear before.

"Well I'll say this you are an even tougher cookie than I can ever imagine." he said with a smirk. "I can't really believe you're real right now. I think you're some kind of emotional superman." I looked up from my spot on the wall to look him in the eye. This was definitely new. I sat up and we were both sitting on my bed.

"You're not gonna drown me in pity or get really pissed off?" He furrowed his brow, "Is that what you want? I know from experience that people saying 'I'm so sorry' can get kinda old, and annoying." I shook my head, "No, no. It's just……new to me, I've never actually had someone react this way." I said. His brow furrowed a bit again, "Don't get me wrong, there's so many different things that ever fabric in my body is objecting to. Every little bit of me is fighting the urge to pick up a yellow pages, find this _Li_ -bastard and castrate him. I also wanna track down your damn mother so I can slap her. You see, I'm just holding back till I can think the little things through a bit better such as, what weapon to use, and alibi." he said.

I stared at him open mouthed. "Wow," I said, "well that was different" I said suddenly feeling a bit giggly. He looked me in the eyes and I knew I shouldn't be laughing. He was serious. "Don't go thinking you're gonna be doing anything, that'll get you into prison. I don't want that. I just wanna live out the remainder of my life never having to deal with either of them. I don't wanna see them, I don't wanna hear about them, and I definitely don't want you to getting into trouble over them."

He smiled cockily, "_Definitely _huh?" he said smirking. I shrugged, "You've grown on me, I mean what respectable owner would allow their pet to be hurt." "So I'm your dog now." he said in mock hurt. I laughed, "More like my cat." I said. He didn't seem to like this, "I like dogs better." I giggled. "Nope you're a cat. Irritable and annoying when angry, likes to be left alone all the time, and good company when in a good mood." I said with a smile. He smiled back.

He put a hand on my cheek, "You really are something." I felt heat float up to my cheeks. What was he doing? He looked me straight in the eye, seriously, barely blinking. He leaned closer to me. My mind was in a million places at once. He was going to kiss me. I knew it was coming, and I knew it wasn't going to be a chaste kiss on the cheek. I didn't know what to do, should I push him away or let him. It would be my first REAL kiss, since as the saying goes, "It's not a kiss if you don't kiss back." Then I was back to square one again, 'Should I let him?' My thoughts were interrupted as I felt his lips against mine.

All my doubts flew away, and my body acted on its own. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and responded immediately. I was fairly new at this but it seemed like he was too. He seemed a bit shocked at my response, and started to kiss me more passionately, and quicker than before. Soon he nibbled on my lips. I let out a little gasp. My mistake, he took advantage of my open mouth and slithered his tongue in. I couldn't say I minded too much though. He kept kissing me and even though we both seemed inexperienced, it was like magic.

Our moment was ruined when Temari walked in. "OH SHIT!" she said turning her face away. Natsume and I broke off immediately, with faces resembling a Christmas tree ornament. "I see I brought you dinner, but you want dessert Mikan. Your ruining my innocent little eyes" she said with a sly smile on her face. "Oh shut it." I said annoyed and embarrassed at the same time. She laughed at me. "So are you gonna introduce us or are you just gonna sit there like a rock Mikan." she said to me.

"Oh right," I said, "Temari this is Natsume, and vice versa. You have impeccable timing you know, we were just-" She cut me off by raising a hand. "It's okay, no need to explain anything to me." she said, but her eyes seemed to say _'not yet anyway'_. I cringed as I thought about how I was gonna explain what happened in the last five minutes. "Hey Mi-chan, he can stay, but if he's eating, it's gonna be out of your portion." she said. I scowled at her.

"That's okay, unlike you two weirdos I eat at normal times." We laughed.

"It's something we picked up over the years." Temari said. "Besides," Natsume said getting off my bed, "I think I'd better leave you two alone. "You don't have to." I said a little disappointed. Part of me wanted him to stay. "Naw," he said, "besides, I wanna shower and stuff….unless you wanna-" "NO!" I cut him off, "on second thought just leave. He smirked at me and left. Temari waited a little while till she was sure he was away, and then she exploded.

"OH MY GOD HE'S SO CUTE! WHO IS HE? IS HE YOUR BOYFRIEND? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME ABOUT HIM? WHY IS HE AT THIS SCHOOL? WAIT. HE'S NOT IN DIVISION TWO IS HE?" she said all under ten seconds flat. I was pretty sure she broke the world record of how many questions could be launched at once but I decided to leave that for another time and just humor her. I sighed.

"Okay in order, I'm aware, a boy from my class, no, I didn't know I had to, he's been here for years, and no." She looked disappointed. "So he's not your boyfriend." she said completely disregarding my other answers. I threw a pillow at her face. "Why must you always throw things at me." she said annoyed. I shrugged, "It's in my genetic makeup. Now let's stop talking, before I die of starvation.

We ate in silence for a while but it seemed like she couldn't resist asking one more question, "So he's not your boyfriend, but do you like him?" she asked. I threw a ramen noodle at her. "No, now shut up and eat." I said. "Quit throwing stuff at me already. And Mikan how can you not like him. You KISSED him," she said annunciating the word kissed with more than necessary, "I've known you long enough to know you don't go kissing random guys, especially if you don't like him." I was frozen on the spot. I had no response to that. Sure I was debating whether I should push him away or not, but when he kissed me my body acted on its own and responded. Shouldn't the automatic response of an unsure girl be to push him away? And I didn't. But why didn't I? "I'm not sure." I said.

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Natsume's POV

I had just walked out of Mikan's room. I leant against the wall and allowed myself to start slipping to the floor. Then I began hyperventilating. My heart was beating so fast, I wouldn't be surprised if I went into cardiac arrest, then and there. I knew from her diary that that was definitely her first real kiss, so how come was she able to kiss just as well as a seductress would. That kiss was amazing. If I hadn't had better control of myself I would've pinned her down right then and there, which of course would have been extremely bad, considering the girl in question is a rape victim.

There was no doubt in my mind. That kiss would haunt my dreams tonight. I heard Temari's explosion of questions being hurled at Mikan. I suppressed a laugh. Her best friend was a trip. As I heard Mikan's answers I both smiled and frowned. So she WAS aware of the fact I was good looking. I'd be sure to use that against her later. it was the 'no' to the boyfriend question that made me sting. I'd do anything to make that no turn into a yes.

I continued to sit out of her door. The girls began to eat I suppose and I heard Temari ask her final question. My ears perked up immediately, this was definitely something worth listening to. My heart sank once again as I hears Mikan say no. She'd be completely honest with her best friend right? Then I heard Temari's reasoning. I could almost HEAR her freeze at the reasoning. She chocked trying to find a way to respond to it. When I heard her say 'I'm not sure', I almost leaped for joy. I had a chance, and I'd be sure to take it.

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I'm almost positive you guys loved this chapter but I can never be too sure. Well tell me what you think. Review please. Temari reacted exactly how my friend would react if she saw me with a guy, so I decided to put the same reaction with Mikan. Well thanks for reading and supporting me, you really have no idea how happy you guys make me, I mean your reviews make me so happy, even the ones with constructive criticism.


	13. Extra Chapter Two: Nonoko & Koko

Hey guys this is the second part to the extra chapters. I have officially thought everything through, I even have Anna's story in my head. Well I don't know if you guys will like this that much, but I hope you will like it. The village that Koko and Nonoko's parents live in is kinda like an Amish family, but also like traditional Japanese. In ancient Japan they actually DID believe bearing twins was an omen. Of course now they don't still believe that. This isn't like my usual stuff because it isn't sad per say, its just…well there's no real word to describe it besides warm. The type of feeling you get at the end of Finding Nemo…lol I used that movie cause I just watched it the other day. Okay let me stop talking about this before I ruin the effect. Enjoy.

Extra Chapter Part 2: Nonoko and Koko

One of the most cliché things in sitcom is the story of two twins separated at birth and finally meet each other through some weird coincidence. Well imagine if that actually did happen know-a-days. You would think that'd be impossible right? Wrong. It's oh-so possible. And we learned that the hard way.

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_Flashback: 16 years ago_

_I was faced with one of the worst decisions a mother will ever have to make. I faced my two babies and let my tears stream down my face. Nonoko and Koko. Cute names for twins. I held their faces in my hands. They looked nothing alike, the two children. Have you ever played the game in your head, the one where you have to decide who to save if two people were drowning and you could any save one? I was playing such a game, but on a much larger scale. I had to decide who would live with me, my daughter, or my son. Most people would think I'm a horrible mother for even considering sending one of my children away, but they wouldn't think so if they knew what I was doing would save their lives._

_My husband walked in. "Quickly you have to decide before people start coming in to congratulate us." he said with a sorrowful expression. The tears continued to fall. "I think I'd be best if we send Nonoko to live with your brother in the city. It's much better for girls there; she can go to university, who knows, maybe she'll become a doctor." I said through my tears. I kissed her forehead. "Goodbye my child." I handed my daughter over to my husband and he took her in his arms._

"_I'll have to leave now if I want to get to the city before nightfall." he said. I nodded and watched him walk away. I brought Koko to my chest and continued to cry. Why? Why did I have to be born in a small superstitious village? Why did I have to be born in a place that would kill my children? I lived in the smallest village you could imagine. We were completely closed off from society and that was the way we lived. Girls never went past grade eight, and were raised to be housewives._

_Maybe in the city my daughter will make something of herself. I allowed myself to smile at the thought. Maybe she was better off without knowing she came from a small village that probably no one has ever heard of. But best of all, my children wouldn't die, for you see in this village a woman bearing twins is an omen. I remember when I was just a little girl I was forced to witness one of the most horrible scenes in my life._

_I was five years old and my next door neighbor had just given birth to two twin baby girls. I rejoiced when I heard the news thinking that it'll be wonderful to have two new babies in the village. My mother hushed me. I didn't understand why. Normally people throw lavish parties to celebrate a baby being born but instead there was a gathering at the edge of a cliff._

_My neighbor had her head down in what looked like a prayer position. A man in all black took the two babies and one by one tossed them into the waters below. I was horrified. How can anybody stand by and watch this. Soon the crowd began to dissipate, and the only one still there was the mother looking into the water with tears streaming down her face. Our daily lives continued throughout the village as if nothing had happened, I didn't understand it. But I knew if that ever was me, I would never allow that to happen._

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_Twelve Years Later: in Tokyo (Nonoko's POV)_

"_Mom get up." I said shaking her on the couch. If I didn't wake her up now before she was late for work she would blame me and yell at me. I continued to shake her until she woke up out of her alcohol induced slumber. "Is it morning already?" she said yawning. "Yeah, and if you don't hurry you're going to miss your train." I said. She rubbed her eyes and walked toward her room, almost stumbling over the doorframe. I rolled my eyes and got myself ready for school. My father had already left for work a half hour ago so it was up to me to get myself ready or else I'd miss school. Not that anybody would care if I miss it anyway._

_I ate breakfast and looked at the clock. It was 7:30. "I'm gonna leave now, okay?" I called out to my mom who was still getting dressed. "Yeah, Yeah, Just go." she called out to me. I walked out the door. I sighed, my family wasn't normal in any way or how. I don't know any parent who would ever let their kid walk to school alone in the city, but that's just the way it is in this family I suppose._

_It's not that they hated me or beat me or anything. They were just completely indifferent toward me I guess, like if I died they would just shrug their shoulders. When I was little I honestly thought that all parents treated their kids this way. Boy was I surprised when I found out it wasn't so. For a long time I wondered if I had done something wrong to make them hate me. It was when I was nine that I finally realized the truth. My parents were complete screw ups. When I looked at my friends' parents, I'd find myself thinking 'It must be nice...to live in a warm family, to not be ignored when you say you're hungry….to be loved.' Part of me believed that there was some other reason for their aloof attitudes. Then the truth hit me. And the truth hurt._

_I was going to my room when I heard my parents arguing. Normally I would simply walk by without caring, but something told me I should stay and listen. "What do you want me to do, huh, huh? Do you think it's MY fault my brother and his wife died, uh no. It's not my fault that the kid is coming here!" my father yelled at my mother. "Well do something about it! I'm tired of taking care of your brother's children, I mean that girl is enough, imagine with this new kid coming! One mouth is bad enough to have to feed" my mother shouted back. _

_I felt like I'd been stung. Was she talking about me? My parents...weren't my parents._

"_We have no choice. The boy will be here by tomorrow. Besides, it shouldn't be so bad. My brother left his entire estate to the boy. As his guardians we have rights to those assets." my father told my mother. I could almost picture my mothers face right now. I bet it sparkled. Money. That's all she ever thinks about. "Well that changes things completely." she said. It was then I realized to my relief and to my horror, my parents were not my parents, and that I had a brother._

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_Meanwhile in the Village (Koko's POV)_

"_Koko, are you sure you're going to be alright." my friend Sumire asked me. I nodded. "My parents…lived a good life. They told me that they were happy that I managed to survive." I said in a low whisper. My parents died in an earthquake. A lot of the villagers did. Everyone was just beginning to rebuild._

"_I still can't believe your leaving." she said low tone. I could tell she was suppressing tears. I smirked and brought her chin up. "So you're gonna miss me Curly-Permy?" I asked. She blushed, "Be serious Kokoroyomi."she said. "Ouch," I said in mock hurt, "my whole name." She laughed. "That's the Curly-Permy, I wanna remember," I said smiling, "I wanna remember a happy Sumire." She smiled and hugged me, "I'm really gonna miss you." she said. "Me too." I whispered. _

_I was about to get in the car to leave when Permy called out to me "Are you gonna be lonely in the city, I mean you don't know anyone there." she said. I smiled, "I'll be fine. Besides, remember what I told you, I have a sister."_

_I had known all my life that I had a little sister. It's one of the things I accidentally realized when I had little control over my little power. I can read a person's complete memory through touch. It was kinda weird at first; being able to know anything and everything a person has lived through. And I'll tell you one thing, it's more than just a little traumatizing seeing your parents…….well you get the picture._

_The point is I knew I had a sister and I knew that I couldn't see her. Part of me always felt alone, and I would find myself constantly wondering, what she looks like, and what type of stuff is she into. I wanted to know if she had the same power as me, and if so I wanted to know if she wondered about me too._

_The Next Day: Tokyo (Koko's POV)_

_So I arrived at my aunt and uncle's house. Somehow it gives me chills. All the other houses seem perfectly fine but this one seemed lonely and cold. _

_I knocked on the door and a man came to the door. "You're Koko?" he asked. I nodded. He widened the door to let me in. "Nonoko, come meet your cousin." He called out. So that's my sister's name. I started getting anxious. _

_I looked around. The house was drab. There was a woman sprawled out on the couch. The man shook her awake. Then a girl came in. She looked nothing like me, and yet I felt the connection. So this was what was missing all those years._

_She gave a small wave and did a gesture to tell me to follow her. I followed her and we went into a small room. It was crowded from wall to wall with books, and when I tried to read their titles I felt my eyes swirling in their sockets. Why was a 12-year old reading about advanced chemistry? _

_That alone would have discouraged me into thinking that we weren't siblings, but the next words out of her mouth comforted me. "So you're my brother? You look nothing like me." _

_I smiled, "Yeah, my thoughts were along the same lines." I said. "So it's true, those evil people out there are NOT my parents?" she looked at me like I offered the cure to cancer. I smiled, "I guess so." I said._

_She smiled a big smile that mirrored my own, "Thank goodness, I thought I was the spawn of Satan all these years." We both laughed. _

_She ushered me to sit down, "So what are my REAL parents like?" she asked excitedly. _

_We talked for hours and hours and we realized that although we were different we were also very much alike. We both loved to play pranks on people, we both named a stray dog Skippy when we were little after our favorite peanut butter, we both loved Lucky Charms etc. etc.. So many little things were exactly the same. I also learned that although she's not psychic like I am, she's a pure genius._

"_So, you lived all these years with that?" I said pointing out the door. My aunt and uncle were arguing, and were now chucking things at each other. She looked down, "I just got used to it….I never lived anywhere else so I figured it was the norm, that is until I stayed over at a few friend's houses, and realized it wasn't." she said. _

_I had been here a week and I had come to realize that Nonoko essentially takes care of herself. She makes her own meals, and she goes to school on her own. I've been here only a week and already I want to leave. This place is not my home and it never will be._

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_Three Years Later:_

"_Hey Nonoko, if you could just pack up your things and leave, would you?" I asked. _

_She looked up at me. "I've thought of that, but where would we go? I mean, its not like we can take care of ourselves, we've got no money." she said. I smiled. "But what if we could go somewhere, where we would have free housing and meals." She looked up puzzled. "Prison?" she asked confused._

_I laughed, "No, but that's Plan B." I said, "Do you know about our cousin Anna?" I asked. "No." she said, "those people never tell me anything about my family." I hand her over a pamphlet I had in my backpack. "Gakuen Alice?" she said confused. "Yeah," I said, "She and I were never that close, but we would exchange e-mails and such, since she lived in the city too. Well anyway, she refused to tell me why, but she said she got sent to this school." I said pointing to the pamphlet. "She says that it's really not that bad, I mean they've got strict policies, but it's not as bad as one may think." I said._

"_Koko," she said while reading the pamphlet, "this is a rehabilitation school. We may hate it here with a passion, but we're not depressed, nor violent, nor do we take our frustration out on animals….which by the way is pretty sick." I laughed._

"_But here's the thing. It's not all that hard to get into the school. All you need is a note from a parent to a school guidance counselor, and then a review from said counselor, then the counselor sends an application, and bippidy boppity boo, we're in."_

_She looks skeptical. "That's way too easy. All we gotta do is wait till our aunt is wasted enough not to remember her own name." _

_I smiled, "Exactly. The school has some flaws in its application process, but hey it'll work to our advantage. In fact, I think if we bribe the guidance counselor enough she'll send the application without even examining us."_

"_Okay." she said, "So we could get in….but do you really want to, I mean we only have to endure 3 more years." she said. I shook my head. I had thought of this myself when I had first gotten the pamphlet, which is why I hadn't brought the idea up, but then I overheard our aunt and uncle talking. I repeated what I heard to Nonoko._

"_I was at the bank and I came across something. My little brother was holding some stocks before he died. They were given to him as a gift, but he thought nothing of it since he lived in an old rinky dink village. So of the lucky-bastard's knowledge, he had no idea, he had more than a million dollars that he just tossed away like lint in his pocket." he said._

_My aunt's eyes widened. "Shit! We're rich!" she exclaimed. "Not quite." he said, bitterly, "The bankers are withholding the money till those brats turn eighteen. We can't touch it. Unless-" She cut him off, "Unless we get rid of them first."_

_Nonoko's eyes widened, and she looked scared. "Oh my God, we've got to get out of here!" she said scared. "I know which is why I've written this out." I said whipping out a piece of paper. It was pretty well written letter written under our "mother's" name. _

"_This is brilliant!" Nonoko exclaimed. I took a bow. "Thank You. Thank You." We looked out the door and saw her. She was downing whisky and slurring at the T.V. Which was turned off by the way. Nonoko and I rolled our eyes and approached her. "There's an away trip coming up," Nonoko said to her, "you won't have to see us for a whole weekend if you sign this." _

_Our aunt didn't even look at it and scrawled an illegible signature, "Anything to get you two outta here." she said to us but she was looking at a lamp. It was perfect. There was no way she would remember any of this by tomorrow._

"_How are we gonna bribe the counselor?" Nonoko asked curiously. I went into my folder and pulled out another piece of paper. It was a bank statement. "Simple. We offer her our stocks of course." I said. We both smiled. It was just a matter of choice. Which to choose life, or money? And of course we chose life._

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Okay and that's all there was too it. I really don't like this that much, it's really not one of my best chapters. I'm a little disappointed with how this turned out. But that's how it is. You see, when I write something, it becomes real, and this is what came to me. This is their past and there is little that I can do to change it. Well let me know what you think. Even if it's to tell me you hate this chapter as much as I do lol. Oh and by the way, after reading this over, I gotta say it reminds me a lot of, three movies: Wickerman, Matilda, and A Series of Unfortunate Events. lol that's pretty weird.

Okay I promise you from the bottom of my soul that the next chapter is amazing, I already wrote it. We are coming toward the climax of the story so something interesting happens next chapter. Okay that's it for now ja ne.


	14. An Unwanted Addition

Ahh the chapter is finally here. I actually had a REALLY hard time writing this. I didn't like what I had down in my original draft at all, so I basically changed the whole thing lol. But one thing is true it is in fact way better. I hope you guys like this. Oh and as for comments on my last chapter yea I know it kinda sucked and I'll admit it's not my best work shrugs what can I say. I'm just happy that you guys just continue to support me and leave comments it really makes me happy. I feel kinda close to my readers because I really put a lot of effort into my writing. Okay so here's chapter 13.

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BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP. If somebody doesn't make that damn noise stop I'm going to murder the object and or person making it. The noise continues and I shove my pillow over my head. Then I can't take it anymore. I lift my head and realize it's my alarm clock. And I'm a half hour late for first period. "SHIT!"

I burst out of my bed and run toward my bathroom. It usually only takes me a good half hour to be ready, so by brushing my teeth in the shower and getting dressed while combing my hair, I'm ready in less than fifteen minutes.

I'm out the door and half-running; don't want to risk an injury with my poise. I'm at the classroom and I swing open the door, instantly apologizing, when I realize there's nobody there. I rub my eyes and wonder what's going on. Then I realize; it's Saturday. "Fuck!" I yell annoyed. Of all the rotten luck, I'd forgotten to turn my stupid alarm off last night.

I'm pummeling my head for my stupidity and wondering what I'm going to do now. Usually on Saturdays I would work on sketches or read, but I wasn't really in the mood to do either at the moment. It was days like these that I really wished I still had my i-pod.

I stopped roaming around campus for a while and I was sting on a bench. I looked around and surveyed the area. There were a few people like me looking bored with their lives, some people hanging out, and others napping and just being lazy. I allowed my eyes to roam and then they stopped abruptly and focused on the figure a few feet away from me. I almost fell over, and I felt my heart stop beating.

It was him. Li Sakurai. His body seemed to emit a dark persona, with his dark hair, and pitch black eyes that I remember scared me in the little time we were "friends". I felt like they were the eyes of a shark, and the way he looked at me sometimes made me feel like his prey. He was tall and muscular, and according to him, he has always been bigger than everyone, even while growing up. He has huge arms that make him intimidatingly strong. Too strong. He doesn't make you feel safe, or feel like he'll protect you. He makes you feel like if he so much as touches you, you might snap in half.

Now one might ask me, if he is so scary, than why were you "friends" in the first place. Well at the time, I was more trusting then I should have ever been. I was beyond naïve and was just plain borderline clueless. I felt invincible, like no one could ever hurt me, and I wondered to myself "who would?"

So when he transferred to my school, I foolishly played the role of a gracious host, showing him around school, offering him notes, giving him advice on which teachers spat when they spoke. The whole nine yards. I didn't even notice when his teasing and flirting passed what was considered acceptable, and crossed into inappropriate. I paid no attention to when he would look at me strangely, as if he were sizing me up in his mind, or when casual touches sent shivers down my spine. I didn't notice, because I wasn't looking clearly.

Then he saw me. He smiled a kool-aid smile, like we were best friends who hadn't seen each other in months. He ran up to me and pulled me into a tight hug. I was frozen. I couldn't raise my hands. I couldn't push him away, I couldn't even respond to him when he whispered, "I missed you." into my ear. My face was frozen as well. I could feel my face, frozen with shock and fear. He blew into my ear. I wanted to die. I could do nothing but stand there with horror vivid on my face, cowering in fear. I almost didn't realize when I was pulled from behind. I managed to move enough to see it was Koko. He pulled me back and murmured something along the lines of 'she's being called by a teacher.' It was an obvious lie considering it was a Saturday, but he just shrugged and walked away.

Koko turned me around, and I saw he was with Ruka and Natsume. Both of them giving me worried looks. Koko looked me in the eye, "Mikan, are you okay?" he whispered softly. 'No' I wanted to answer. But no sound would come out. I had finally thawed out, but I could do nothing but slide to the floor. I closed my eyes, and tears slid out of my closed sockets.

Koko touched my arm in an attempt to calm me down, but my body quivered at his touch. Koko quickly withdrew his hand Natsume knelt down and whispered, "It was him wasn't it." I opened my eyes and saw him. He was the person who knew as well as I did what true pain felt like. He knew how it felt to lose something precious. He knew how it felt to want to die. And yet he looked at me as if he was in the greatest amount of pain, just seeing me in pain. Why? Why does he care about me? Why is he always there when my world is collapsing? Why is he always there to make me feel better, to pick up the pieces?

My body acted on its own once more and reached out to him. I burst into tears and held on to him tight. He responded to the hug and brought me closer to him. "Yes." I said, in a cracked voice. I suddenly felt strong. And I finally said the words I'd been keeping in my heart for over a year. "That was the face of the man who raped me."

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Third Person Point of View (it's easier for me lol)

Ruka was the only one still at the park bench. Natsume had taken Mikan back to her room and Koko was gathering all the girls together, leaving Ruka behind to reflect. His mind was completely blank and his heart was in pain. He replayed the scene where Mikan reached up to hug him over and over in his mind.

He wasn't jealous. That would be a petty thing to feel at the moment. He felt sadness. The more logical part of him was telling him it was time that he gave up on Mikan. Not only had Mikan confided in Natsume, but he had also been the one that Mikan had turned to when she was in pain. She reached out to Natsume, not him.

He sighed and looked down to the ground. "Hey" someone called from behind him. He turned around and saw Hotaru there. "Why the long face?" she asked sitting beside him. "Nothing really, just giving up is all." he said.

Hotaru raised an eyebrow, "This is about Mikan isn't it." It wasn't so much a question but a statement. "Yeah," Ruka said. "I've decided to give up on her. I haven't got a chance, besides someone like Natsume deserves to be happy." he said. "And you don't?" Hotaru said with one eyebrow raised. "Well yes but-" She cut him off, "You my friend are too self sacrificing. Don't get me wrong, giving up on Mikan is the right thing to do since you haven't got a chance with her," "Hey-" She raised her hand to cut him off again. "But your reasons for wanting to give up are all screwy. Your only real reason is that you think that Natsume deserves her more than you do. That he deserves happiness, right?" she asked. She didn't wait for a response "Well what DO you deserve Ruka? A person like you who threw their life away for the sake of a friend. A person who would give up everything and anything to help another. What do you deserve?" she asked.

Ruka was stunned. "How did you know?" he whispered. "I know everything Nogi, never forget that. Plus it's fairly obvious, there's no way that someone like you can ever be depressed, and violent... PLEASE spare me the crap; I've seen you cry after accidentally killing a spider." Ruka flushed red. "So don't go saying that you don't deserve to be happy, because you do. Mikan just isn't the girl for you. Plus she's fairly crazy about Hyugga." she said. Ruka looked confused, "How do you-" "I know everything." she said. "Now if you're done moping, I believe we have some business to attend to. Koko said we have a pest invasion?" she said.

Ruka suddenly became grave. He nodded, "Koko said he'll explain it to all of us once he gets back. All he said was that some guy just transferred who will cause problems for Mikan." Hotaru nodded. They both sat quietly on the bench, with Ruka sneaking glances at the Ice Queen, who wasn't so cold anymore.

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Okay that's it. LI CAME TO THE SCHOOL!! I know I know I'm a horrible writer for inflicting pain upon my characters. But seriously I hate that guy with a passion. I wanna impale him on a stick. Who's with me? Only Natsume and Koko know who Li is, all Ruka knows is that there is some guy bothering her. I put a little Ruka and Hotaru moment at the end. Ruka has finally decided to give up on Mikan lol good thing cause the poor fool never had a chance \. Read and Review everyone


	15. Sadistic Nature

Hey guys I decided to skip the Extra Chapter and save it for next time because I was having difficulty writing it. In fact I was having an even worse time writing this. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get it up to my standards, which is why the chapter is late, and shorter than usual. I hope you can forgive me for that. This ends with a complete cliff-hanger, I'm so sorry.

I went to The Final Riot in Central Park on Thursday (yes I live in New York if you're wondering) OMG it was the best nights of my life!! It was so amazing. I was standing like 5 feet away from the stage. I was so close that I could see the sweat on their faces lol. In the concert I saw Paper Route, Phantom Planet, Jack's Mannequin, and of course Paramore. It was so amazing. But I'm gonna stick with arena concerts from now on lol I came home with so many bruises and scratches XD well here's the chapter

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Chapter 13: Sadistic Nature

I have no idea how I always end up finding myself in weird situations. One minute I was roaming around the school bored out of my mind and the next I'm on Natsume Hyugga's back and he's carrying me to my dorm room. Life's pretty funny huh.

I leaned my forehead against his shoulder. "Things can't get any worse huh." I said to him. "Nope, I don't think so. You pretty much have the worst case scenario on your plate." he said. "Well thank you so much." I muffled into his shirt. He sighed. "Don't worry about it so much though. In fact this makes things easier for me. Much, much easier." he said evilly. I slapped him upside his head.

"Promise me that you won't do anything unless it's in self defense. Please don't do anything unnecessary." I said. He sighed, "Fine, but if he so much as lays a hand on you-" "Then you have my permission to kick his ass." I cut him off. "Fine." he agreed bitterly.

He continued to take me to my room when he suddenly stopped. "What's wrong?" I asked looking as best as I could to see his face. "Are you scared of what's going to happen?" he asked. Now that I think about it I should be scared, in fact I should be frightened of what was coming, but for some reason, I wasn't scared. I actually felt brave. "No." I said. "Why?" he asked curiously. "I'm not sure exactly, but for some reason I feel strong." I said smiling. I saw the corner of his lip turn up, and then he began to move again.

When we were at my room he let me down on the ground. "I'm just gonna get some sleep okay." I walked in, but instead of leaving, he came in with me. "You didn't honestly think I'd leave you alone after all this. Until things get settled I'm spooning with you." he said with a grin. "And don't I get a say in this." I said annoyed. "Hmmm let me think about that, NO." he said. "Relax I'm not gonna do anything to your ugly self, so just relax and go to sleep." he said making himself comfortable on the tiny couch. I sighed. Oh well at least he wasn't going to try and share the bed.

I crashed on my bed and went to sleep.

* * *

_Dream:_

_It was pitch black. I couldn't see or hear anything. It wasn't like the black hole that I endured in the past. At least in that one there was some hope. Here all I could feel was despair. Then suddenly I saw a man. He turned around and smiled slightly, and I realized it was Natsume. I smiled and tried to walk towards him but something pulled me back. Natsume turned around and continued to walk away. I tried to call out to him but I had been gagged. I looked over to see what was holding me back and there was Li with his hand over my mouth muffling my scream. _

_End of Dream _

I was moaning and crying when I felt a hand on my cheek. I screamed and then the hand was on my mouth. This made me panic even more. "Calm down, Calm down, its just me." he said, and I saw that it was just Natsume. I took a couple of deep breaths, wiped my tears and laid back down. "Bad dream?" he asked. I nodded, "Can't really remember much about it though." He ran his fingers down my cheeks wiping my tears. "What do you remember?" he asked. "The only thing I remember is wanting desperately to get to someone important to me, but then being held back." He nodded and placed his hand on her cheek. "Just go back to sleep." he murmured.

He began to walk back to the couch when I pulled him back. "W-wait." I said. He turned around and raised an eyebrow. "Could you…sleep here…next to me? I'm sure it would make me feel safer." Whenever I was scared before I would always sleep in one of my sister's beds. For some reason having someone next to me helps me sleep better at night. Natsume blushed bright red. "Come on I'm just asking you to sleep next to me, you pervert." I said rolling my eyes. "Fine" he said flicking my forehead. He climbed in next to me and I closed my eyes. I drifted to sleep and had a dreamless sleep for the rest of the night.

I was awake but I didn't want to get up. I felt warm and rested and really comfortable, which was a first since I usually woke up groggy and cranky every morning. I turned on my side and inhaled the smell of cologne on my pillow. "Must be Natsume's" I thought to myself. I felt like smiling as I felt the sun touch my cheek. I definitely didn't want to wake up. Then suddenly I felt lips touch my forehead. The person then whispered "I love you" into my ear. I then realized that the voice belonged to Natsume. I heard the door open and close and I saw that he was gone.

* * *

Earlier (Third Person POV):

"So what's the story on this guy?" Ruka asked Hotaru. All of us where in Hotaru's room around her smuggled laptop. Hotaru was known at school for more than just being ice cold. She also was known to have 'ways' of getting smuggled goods such as: cell phones, laptops, i-pods, mp3 players, etc, and she sold them…for the right price. "Li Sakurai…you know when most people google themselves they end up getting no matches. Tch, it figures that this guy ends up getting hits." Koko said.

"Apparently he was spending this past year in juve, and then he got sent here. He got caught trying to rape some girl at his school." Hotaru said. "Victim number two?" Koko asked. Hotaru wrinkled her eyebrow. "No, there was only one victim." she said confusedly. "Wrong. His first victim was never documented." he said.

Hotaru, Ruka, Nonoko, and Anna looked confused for a second, but then Hotaru understood. Her face looked shocked and disgusted, "Oh my God. Wait. HE'S HERE?! NOW?!" she said. Koko nodded.

Nonoko and Anna were next to show recognition. Nonoko's reaction was similar to Hotaru's while Anna began to cry. Ruka still looked confused, "I don't understand….what's going on?" he asked taking in everyone's sad expressions. "PIECE IT TOGETHER RUKA!" Anna yelled out in between sobs. Ruka was taken aback. Usually Anna would always be sweet and gentle; in fact she would never talk back to a person, let alone scream at them.

Ruka slowly pieced it together. "Y-you don't mean?" he asked. Koko nodded, "Afraid so. And now he's here. We need to protect her." he said. Hotaru snickered, "Of course we've gotta protect her. No wonder the bastard had no problem coming here; it's like a ticket to get to her." she said. "Exactly. Us girls will have to sleep in her room and we'll walk her to class. There's nothing much else we can do." Nonoko said.

* * *

My eyes widened to the size of saucers. He LOVES me? I pulled my hand to my forehead and blushed bright red. I looked to my side and he had left a note:

_Baka:_

_If you wake up earlier than I thought you would, I just went to my room to shower and change. Be back later._

I rolled my eyes at the note. But then I blushed again. He was in love with me? I found myself smiling. I felt happy, and I didn't know why. "Do I love him?" I wondered out loud. I heard my doorknob turning, and I called out, "Natsume?"

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Haha I left you with a cliff-hanger lol. Don't kill me. Try and guess who's at her door, its pretty obvious but I'm in a cookie giving mood so if you guess right you get a cookie. I hope you guys liked this chapter because like I said it took me forever to write, I simply could NOT get it going, it was so horrible trying to write it. This story is coming to an end so fast and its really making me sad. I really don't want it to end. Well please review.


	16. NOTICE

NOTICE:

Hey guys I'm so sorry but this is not a chapter. I'm writing this because I have to say that sadly I MAY have to take an indefinite break from fanfiction. I'm so sorry to do this to you guys when my story has only about four more chapters till its in conclusion but I'm afraid I may have no choice. You see I started school on Friday and I got a small sample of what it's going to be like throughout the year. It was not pretty. I got homework on the very first day of classes can you believe it? Plus I'm taking all honors courses so the workload is going to be heavy and I'm going to have to take THREE state exams at the end of the year. Okay, I don't want to put the story on hiatus, but I will warn you that my updates will not be that often. I'll even try to help you guys a bit and the next chapter will be REALLY long. I'm going to try to pack 2 chapters into one, then after that is the bonus chapter on Anna, which is actually pretty interesting if I do say so myself (I just have a bit of writers block with it) and then the epilogue. Once Conspiracy is done I'm going to start a fic on Princess Tutu. Any of you ever saw that anime? It's completely adorable to me, but I hated the ending so much, so I'm going to make my own. I already have ideas of what to do for that fic. So I'm asking you guys to please support me when I write that fic as well. Thank you and once again I'm really sorry.


	17. Evanescence

Hi guys I only managed to finish chapter fourteen so I didn't want to make you wait any longer. Here's the chapter you've been waiting for. The next one won't be till at least the weekend, and if not next Wednesday. I made your worst intentions come true TT gomene. Oh and whoever is my 100th reviewer will get a great big hug and a huge cookie :D so review people.

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Chapter 14: Evanescence

"Natsume?" I called out. The door widened and I stared with horror. It definitely was not Natsume. "I asked around about you and they told me that this is your room. So why did I see a guy just leave your room five minutes ago." he said through squinted and enraged eyes. I was tongue tied and terrified. In just one day that he had come here he already managed to find me when I was most vulnerable. There he was standing in front of me and I had nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide.

"ANSWER ME YOU WHORE!" he screamed at me. I cringed back to the headboard of my bed and gripped the sides of my sheets. My eyes were widened and I felt the familiar freezing sensation taking over every part of my body and encasing my throat with ice.

He became even more frustrated at my silence. He went up to my bed and grabbed my arm with crippling strength. I let out a small whimper, and he yanked me out the door. He dragged me out of my room, and out of the dorm room.

I'm sure it looked very strange: a robust boy dragging a scrawny girl who looked like she had just gotten up. I had no shoes or socks, my clothes were in disarray, and I probably had a serious bed head; but no one tried to stop him, they just looked at him and shrugged it off. It wasn't any of their business and who were they to interfere with other people's matters.

He continued to drag me until we were in the deserted, woodsy part of the campus, where I would usually sit down and nap. This place would never be the same when he's through with me.

But then I thought to myself, "What am I thinking, am I just going to LET this happen to me again. Am I just gonna let myself being the victim always being rescued by others?" I knew the answer. "NO." Definitely not. I am not going down without a fight. I may not be successful and I may even die here, but I'm not going down without a fight.

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Anna's POV

I was up early, it was Sunday and I was about to get breakfast for myself. I was heading toward the cafeteria when I saw a huge strong man. I began to shake more than usual. There was no doubt that this man was scary, the whole aura that he threw off made me quake in fear. I was watching him from the side, and somehow he seemed familiar in a way.

Then I realized he was yanking someone. I squinted and gasped in horror. IT WAS MIKAN! I stood there gaping in horror. That must mean that the man was Sakurai. Then he looked at me. I cringed and he smirked cynically. It was as if he DARED me to do something.

I panicked. I began to search around for someone, anyone who could help. Then I saw Natsume with his back turned toward me. I ran up to him as fast as I could. "Natsume, Natsume!" I called begging for his attention. He turned at the sound of my panicked cries. "What is it?" he said in a serious yet at the same time annoyed tone. I tried to calm my breath and I managed to breathe out, "Mikan….trouble." I continued to pant and he suddenly became alert. "What kind of trouble." he demanded.

I finally managed to calm myself down, and I looked up at him. My subconscious was screaming for me to get away from him, but I ignored it. My friend was in danger. "I saw Li dragging her towards the park near her dorm, she looked scared to out of her mind." I began to cry, "You've got to help her, she probably feels scared….. and alone………. and she probably hates herself for not being able to stop this from happening…so, you've got to save her!" I yelled to him. He looked stunned for a moment. I wasn't surprised; I had never spoken this much to him before. He then looked at me with sad yet sharp eyes. He gently took my shoulder, "Which way did they go?"

* * *

Li pulled me hard and then banged me against a tree. "Well isn't this familiar." he said while pinning my arms above my head. I glared at him. No, no its not. I'm not the same defenseless person I was before. I'm not as naive as before, and I certainly was not as weak. I let out my ear shattering scream. He shoved his huge hand over my mouth, crushing my jaw. "Shut up!" he growled. I bit down on his hand as hard as I could. I tasted his blood in my mouth. "Ahhhhh," he screamed, "you stupid bitch." He punched me in the face and gripped his bleeding hand. I took the blow and my chance to run. He grabbed my hair and yanked me back toward him again. "Ya'know your hair never does you any good." he muttered darkly.

I punched him in the nose so hard that I saw blood come down. "THAT'S IT!" he yelled. He yanked my arm and dragged me to the floor. He wrapped his hands around my throat. "I wasn't going to kill you Mi-chan, but all you've done is piss me off and make things worse for yourself." he muttered. I gasped for air grabbing his hair. He strengthened his grip on my throat. I squirmed and kicked but I soon grew tired. A tear came down my eye as I saw a vision of my angel looking down on me. My angel with beautiful red eyes and raven hair. "I love you." were the final words that died in my throat.

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Yes, Yes I am a horrible person for leaving you with such a cliff-hanger. But you've got to admit it's a great plot twist. This story is spiraling to an end so fast and it makes me so sad. Well review or ill get mad. Oh and btw I have a reason why I used Anna in her part and not anyone else. It has to do with her past I hinted toward it in a way in this chapter. Re-read that part if you have to and keep in mind that I'm hinting toward her past.


	18. In the End

The price of this chapter is one review per reader lmao….but I'm kind of serious this is the last chapter, there's an epilogue but its not the same as the official last chapter so yea if your reading this then your obligated to review lol…okay here's the final chapter :'(

I got soooo many reviews for the last chapter, you guys have no idea how happy you made me; I got 32 reviews in one chapter!! I would especially like to thank my 100th reviewer

Oh and I have to talk about this one hole in my story. Temari comes to serve Mikan food right? well in chapter 13 when Natsume and Mikan slept in the same bed THEN what had happened was Temari walked in (she has a key to her room) and she saw the two of them together, so not wanting to ruin the moment she walked out. So that's what happened, it completely slipped my mind to put that in. Probably none of you guys noticed, but since it's my own story of course I noticed lol here's chapter 15.

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Chapter 15: In the End

One Week Later…..

I was surrounded by darkness; everything around me was pitch black. I was just floating there without knowing how much time is passing, or when I'll get out. There was no exit and once you're in, there is no hope of getting out. You can't even despair because you can't feel any emotion. Is this what its like to die? Anti-climatic if you ask me. Where's the angel guiding me to heaven? Where's the blinding white light. All I can see is darkness. Unless I'm going to hell. That would make enough sense I suppose. My life on earth was like hell to begin with.

Okay maybe, I wasn't evil enough for eternal damnation, but what other explanation is there. I would never see any one of my friends. Not even Natsume. I felt pure despair at the thought of never being able to see him again. It seemed a worse fate than this death that was put upon me. That was when I realized. I was madly in love with Natsume Hyugga. If God had any mercy than this could not be the end, I could not die just after I had realized the truth. Suddenly there was a voice calling out to me, begging me to come to them. Should I follow it? The voice seemed familiar. Like from a person I truly cared about.

My eyes were spinning and I groaned. There was a blinding light directly above my eyes. I began to see various colors of blue and green. "Mikan?" somebody called, "are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere?" they asked desperately. I slammed my eyes shut. "No, turn the fucking light off, I feel like I've just seen the light to heaven." I groaned. There was a large group sigh. "She's fine." one voice said. "Yeah, I mean if she has the strength to crack jokes…" another voice said. I slowly lifted my head up and ignored the sense of vertigo I felt. "I'm not joking, I swear to God they should turn down the brightness of those lights, all these doctors are doing is scaring people into thinking they're dead."

I glanced around the room. Everyone looked so relieved and I saw Anna and Nonoko with a few tears in their eyes. "What'd I miss?" I asked confused. "Mikan you've been asleep for seven days." Ruka said to me. "That explains the ravenous hunger." I muttered. I got hit with.…..was that a gun? "You idiot this isn't funny. YOU ALMOST DIED!" she said even more serious than usual. I saw Natsume walk out of the room. It was gravely quiet. "What happened to me?" I asked Hotaru. She hesitated but then said, "If Hyugga hadn't come when he did, you wouldn't be alive right now."

* * *

Flashback: Natsume's POV

I ran and ran in circles in the direction Anna pointed out to me, but I was completely lost. "Dammit!" I yelled in frustration. I then heard a scream. I ran in that direction. I could feel my heart hammering against my ribs. I saw him on top of her with his huge hands wrapped around her throat. It was like a demon possessed me, my whole consciousness was lost. I kicked him off of her and I just couldn't stop kicking and punching him. I left him unconscious and ran to Mikan. She wasn't breathing. "No!" I yelled. I started to panic. I tried to do whatever I knew on CPR. I was slightly relieved when I felt her heart beating but she still wasn't breathing on her own.

I kept doing CPR on her and then I saw Anna come up behind me with her hand over her mouth in shock. "I-is s-she…" she stuttered. "No she's not dead. Go get the teachers to get an ambulance." I shouted to her. She nodded and ran to the office.

I saw the paramedics come and they started treating that, that bastard. "DON'T TREAT HIM! SHE'S THE ONE WHO'S DYING!" I yelled at them. They quickly went from him to Mikan and took my place in giving her CPR. They put her on a stretcher and carried her to the ambulance. Behind them they were putting HIM on a stretcher as well. I looked at them with disgust, and felt anger rise in me as they refused to let me ride in the ambulance.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. "S-she'll be okay." Anna said. She sounded like she was trying to convince herself more than me. "Yeah," I said, she'll be okay." I said, but it was mostly a silent prayer.

Present…..

I had just walked out of the hospital room and was trying desperately to calm myself down. I slid myself to the floor and placed my palm on my forehead. "She's alive. She's alive." I chanted to myself over and over again, but it wasn't helping. I couldn't calm myself down. I had come so close to loosing her, and I never wanted to feel that way again.

* * *

Back to Mikan's POV ;P

They had just told me the full story of what had happened a week ago. I was so shocked, that I had the urge to jump out of my bed and find Natsume. He had saved my life in more ways than one. "What happened to Li?" I whispered. They all snickered. I scanned their faces. "What?" I said confused. Ruka laughed, "Natsume beat that guy so badly when the ambulances arrived they were confused which one was the victim. Natsume went ballistic when they went to him before you. He's here in the hospital too except he's handcuffed to his bed. The police said the second he wakes up he's heading for the big house." I let out a huge sigh. For the first time in a long time I felt free.

I was sitting on my bed. Visiting hours were long over, so I was alone with nothing to do. Most of the people from my school would be watching as much TV as they could before they had to go back to 'No Fun Land' but I never was a TV person so all there was left for me to do really was to lay, sleep, and think. So I was doing the latter.

"_Ya'know your hair never does you any good." he muttered darkly._

It was a strange thing to remember so clearly but for some reason it resonated in my mind. I eyed a strand of my hair. The irony of it was that what he said was completely true. I eyed the medical scissors that an absent minded nurse had left behind. I rolled my eyes. Like I needed another reason to hate hospitals. What if there had been a suicidal person in this room? Well the scissors were too dull to do much, but lucky for me they should serve my purpose just fine. It was time for a new hair style.

I couldn't sleep all night and I was tossing and turning in the five minutes I had managed to get a wink. I couldn't stop picturing Li in my mind. "Stop it, Sakura, what your feeling right now is beyond irrational." I said to myself. I should not feel afraid. Not in the slightest. He has guards, handcuffs, and hospital personnel all preventing him from even leaving his room, let alone getting to me. I didn't want to be afraid of him, I shouldn't feel afraid of him, but I did.

I turned on my stomach and pulled my pillow above my head. Hospitals have got to have some of the most uncomfortable beds on the planet. I could speak from experience and say that sleeping on the streets is more comfortable than this. I breathed slowly in the hopes that I could trick my body into thinking it was asleep. But then I heard a noise that sounded like the rolling of a window. I inwardly slapped myself. It was impossible, this was the second floor.

"Hey, little girl I know you're awake so quit faking it." the voice resonated in my ears like a bell. It was one I had come to recognize even more than my own. I shot up with a smile on my face. I rushed out of bed and went to him forgetting that I hadn't moved much since I had been to the hospital-therefore my legs were like pudding. "Natsume." I said, before I stumbled. He caught me by my elbow and steadied me while chuckling. "Baka." he said with a smile.

He then ran his fingers through my now shoulder length hair and raised an eyebrow. "Why'd you butcher your hair?" he asked curiously. I let out a small laugh. "I felt the need for a change, although I think I messed it up a lot." I said while eyeing the jagged edge my hair created. "I'm gonna have to let Anna or Nonoko fix it later." I said. "Hn." he said. He ran his fingers through my hair again and placed his hand on my cheek. I covered his hand with my own and closed my eyes smiling warmly.

Of course knowing him he had to kill the moment. "You are so tiny." he suddenly said. I punched him lightly in the gut. "Well excuse me for being small." He hunched over gripping his stomach. Well I thought I did it lightly.

"Y-you okay?" I asked. I put my hand on his back, and then in the blink of an eye he pulled me up and had me in his arms. "W-what are you doing!" I said squirming. "SHHHHH," he said, exaggerating a 'finger to lips' motion, "this is a hospital big mouth." He calmly laid down and had me on his chest.

I instantly blushed hard, but managed to let out a coherent sentence. "Are you sure you're going to be okay there? This bed is as hard as a rock." I said. He ran his finger down my arm. "I'll survive." he murmured. If even possible my face became redder.

Then I remembered his confession from last week. I sighed. Why couldn't he just say it directly to me, it would make all of this so much easier.

"Hey Natsume," I called. "Hmm?" he called while playing with my hair. "What do you think I should do, last week while was half awake someone confessed that he loved me. I'm pretty sure I know who it is, but I don't know how to bring it up since he didn't say it directly." I said. I hoped he would take the bait.

He visibly froze and dropped the piece of hair that he had been running through his fingers. He gulped almost inaudibly. "Who do you think it is?" he asked calmly. Hook, line, and sucker. "Ruka. He seems like the only likely person." I said. If my plan goes the way it should he should fall into this trap perfectly.

And it did. I could almost feel the hurt and rejection in his arms. "Why him?" he hissed out. Just as planned. "Well…" I said deliberately slow, "he's always so cheesy and nice; it just seems like something he'd do." By this time he wasn't even trying to beat around the bush. "And you never thought that it could be me?" he hissed again. I played dumb, "No, it didn't seem like something that you'd do or say, besides, there's no way that you could have feel that way toward m-" halfway through my last word, he had already kissed me.

The kiss was long and passionate, and he shoved all that he was feeling into it. He broke apart only to whisper, "I love you, Mikan Sakura." I looked up into his eyes seriously. Then I flicked his forehead. "Took ya long enough." I said with a smile. I reached up and kissed him. He looked a bit shocked but kissed back. After a while I broke apart, and whispered the words that were troubling my heart. "I love you too." He looked at me with pure happiness and kissed me again.

And that was it. No excess words needed to said. He was mine and I was his. And we'd always be that way. Forever.

* * *

Eight Years Later…..

I was in a deep and peaceful sleep, more so than I had ever had. When that peace was suddenly destroyed. I shot up out of my bed and bolted toward the bathroom. Without bothering to turn on the light I ran to the toilet and let my stomach overturn. "Mikan?" I heard Natsume say. But I didn't answer him. He walked in and flipped the light on. "Are you okay?" he asked worriedly. "No" I managed out in between throwing up.

He came up behind me and held my hair back and rubbed my shoulder. "Third time this week." he said solemnly. He guided me toward the sink and I rinsed my mouth. "I really think we should get you seen by a doctor. I shook my head mid-gargle. "I'll be fine its okay." I said. He hugged me. "I just want to be sure, just in case there is something wrong with you. I won't hurt just to check you out." he said. I sighed. He was right. Part of it was just my pride and my utter disdain for anything involving a doctor. I gave him a peck on the lips, "Fine." I said.

He looked disgusted. "What?" I asked curiously. "You just kissed me right after you puked." he said with that same look. I smacked his shoulder. I can't believe I'm married to this guy.

"Okay Mrs. Hyugga, we have the results of the tests here." Both Natsume and I tensed. What if something WAS wrong, what would we do? After all that's happened do we have to face yet another trouble? After being married for little over a year would we be torn apart? We were looking at adoption agencies. What could possibly happen now?

"Everything seems fine." my doctor said with a smile. We both sighed. "Really, nothing's wrong?" I asked. He smiled again and it seemed a little suspicious. "Everything is perfectly fine," he said. Natsume let out another sigh of relief, but then he said "you're just pregnant."

* * *

HAHAHA I left you guys with the ULTIMATE ending. I love it so much! It actually was inspired a bit by an alternate ending from New Moon by Stephenie Meyer, lol you should definitely look at that if you are a twilight fan and you feel the need to. Feel free to leave horrible comments if you wish XD okay that's it, this is the last official chapter. Leave good reviews.


	19. Extra Chapter Three: Anna

This is Anna's extra chapter. It is a little sad when I read and think about it because this is the most realistic story in the ENTIRE fic. Things like this happen all the time to women. Well here's the story, and why Anna can relate to Mikan. This is an extremely long chapter and I actually considered breaking it up but I decided not to torture you guys so. I'm sorry I haven't updated sooner but like I said school is hell and work is hard.

This was one of the hardest chapters for me to write. It's always difficult from writing from anyone but Mikan's POV because Mikan has my personality (really when I'm writing in her point of view I pretend that it's me in the story) Anna has a totally different personality, the bubbly and cute popular girl. It was harder to put myself in that role. But I somehow managed and this turned out very well.

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Extra Chapter 3: Anna

Androphobia: n. the abnormal and persistent fear or dislike of men.

Causes: such can be traced back to a specific triggering event, usually a traumatic experience at an early age. In the case of androphobia, this may include rape or other physical/verbal abuse perpetrated by a man on a victim.

So I know what affects me and I know what caused it, that's good I suppose, but it'd be even better if I knew how to get rid of it. This irrational fear that I have. To not have to cringe whenever someone gets to close. I'm getting better and better everyday I suppose, I have some guys as friends, but I still shiver when a stranger gets too close, and I still get anxiety attacks sometimes, the worst was when I was afraid to be near my father and my brother. Baby steps my parents told me, but I refused to go to an all girl school. I said if I was ever going to face it then I was gonna face it head on.

* * *

"Hey Anna look at that guy, he's totally checking you out." my best friend Reira whispered to me. We were walking to our homeroom and we had stopped momentarily at a friend's locker. I blushed at what she said and glanced over my shoulder. He was leaning against a wall with his eyes fixed on me. I looked at him. He was tall and skinny and had messy brown hair, he had beautiful green eyes. He was gorgeous.

Once he realized I was looking at him he turned as bright as an apple and tumbled to the floor. Everyone in the hall burst out laughing. I had to giggle too; so he was gorgeous and clumsy. I walked up to him and offered a hand to help him up.

He turned slightly pink but then took my hand. "You okay?" I asked him. He nodded. "I'm just new here, and I was tying to figure out where my homeroom is." he said. "Which one are you in?" I asked him. He glanced at a piece of paper that I assume was a schedule. "10-5." he said still looking at the paper. I smiled, "Well come with me then, classmate." I said. He blushed and smiled slightly. "I'm Anna by the way." I added. "Koharu." he said.

* * *

The whole school was abuzz. The sophomore dance was coming up and our whole class was either talking about dates, or dresses, or bands etc. etc. I was beginning to go crazy. I had already decided to just skip it. It seemed like too much of a hassle.

"Hey, Anna!" someone called behind my back. I turned it was Koharu, "Oh hi, what's up?" I asked. Koharu and I had gotten very close. He was very sweet and kind, and despite his first impression, able to walk in a straight line without falling. "Nothing really, but I was wondering if you had a date for the dance." he said. I blushed a bit, but then said, "No, I wasn't really planning on going. It just seemed like a hassle." He frowned and took my hand, "Would you please do me the honor of going with me then. I really would prefer not to be the only guy there without a date, besides there's no one I'd rather go with." he said with a smile. I blushed like a cherry and without thinking said yes.

"That guy's a hypnotist I'm telling you!" I yelled to Reira over the phone. I couldn't believe he had managed to make me go to the dance within less than five minutes. Now I had to find a dress, shoes, makeup, accessories….etc. etc……well I am a girl aren't I.

"Oh come on Anna, this could be your chance! I know for a fact that you like him, and its sooooooo obvious he likes you!" she said. Thank God we were just talking over the phone so she wouldn't see my reaction. "T-that's n-not t-true." I said, and mentally slapped myself for stuttering. "Whatever Anna," she said in a dismissing manner, "the point is that we have some major shopping to do. The dance IS this Friday." I sighed audibly and resigned myself to a shopping trip, "Whoopee." I said with sarcasm.

After hours of going from store to store, I had finally found something beautiful and perfect. The dress was like it was made for me. It was a white strapless with little pink flowers on it, the exact same shade as my hair, and it had a criss-cross pattern in the back. When I tried it on Reira was speechless, "Beautiful." was the only word that came across her lips. I took that as a good reaction. I found white shoes to match it and a silver chain with a pink flower on it. I was done.

"You are gonna look great Anna! I swear to God you're gonna give him a heart attack when he sees you." she said. I waved a hand dismissively, "Stop exaggerating." I said. "You have got to be kidding! Did you NOT notice everyone in the store bearing jealous glares at you?" she said. I shrugged, "I guess not." She looked exasperated. "Oh calm down, you should know by now that I don't pay attention to things like that." I said. She sighed, "I know, but Anna you NEED to be more aware of your surroundings, you could end up hurt one day. I shrugged off what she said. She couldn't possibly be right. Could she?

I had put my dress and shoes on, and was now doing my hair. I pulled my hair into a pony tail with curls in it and let strands of the curls out on both sides of my face. Perfect. I went downstairs and waited for Koharu to come.

My brother saw me and came up to me. "If this guy so much as touches you-" I cut him off, "Shut up Kitsuneme, and get out of older brother mode, you're only a year older than me." I said. "Exactly imoto-chan. That is why I know exactly what's going through his mind. He sure as hell ain't gonna be admiring your dress." he said. I rolled my eyes. "Just lay off Kitsuneme." As if on cue the doorbell rang at that moment.

"You get the door," I told him, "in every cheesy movie the girl always makes an entrance." He rolled his eyes, "This isn't a movie." he pushed me toward the door. "You're so pushy. Geez. Fine I'll answer it." I went to the door and opened it. There Koharu stood with a pink carnation in hand and when he looked at me he turned redder than a cherry. "Y-you look, b-beautiful." he said. I turned the color of the flower in his hand. He looked like he was having trouble breathing. I guess Reira wasn't kidding about the heart attack thing. He looked pretty handsome himself.

Trying to change the subject I asked, "How did you know to get a pink flower? I never told you what color my dress was." He smiled, "I live in a house with five older sisters and my mother. I'm kinda sensitive to girls' behavior, so" he said, picking up a strand of my hair, "I predicted that you would wear something to match your hair." he said. I blushed and smiled. "Well aren't you smart." I heard behind my back. It was Kitsuneme of course. "Have my sister home by midnight, and if one hair is out of place-" "I'll be a perfect gentleman." Koharu interjected.

Sensing a bad atmosphere approaching I decided to get out as fast as possible, "Okay we should get going now!" I said while pulling Koharu toward….A LIMO! I stood agape. "W-what's that doing there?" I said. He laughed at my reaction. A bunch of the guys wanted to surprise you girls with this so we all chipped in to get one and surprise our dates." "Well aren't you sweet." I said smiling. "Always." he replied.

We entered the dance and I was taken aback, if I were completely honest I would have to admit that it was my first time at an event such as this. There were purple and white streamers all over the place with purple roses pinning them up. Koharu guided me through the gym and to the table where Reira and her boyfriend were. "It's amazing." I said to her. Reira was in charge of the decorating committee so she looked smug and said, "Well thank you, love."

Koharu and I sat talking for a while, when suddenly 'Dark Blue' by Jack's Mannequin came on. I closed my eyes and hummed to the opening beat. This was one of my favorite songs. (AN/ it's one of my favorite songs too, it's so lively :P) Seeing my reaction, he grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the dance floor.

_I have, I have you  
breathing down my neck, breathing down my neck  
I don't, don't know  
what you could possibly expect under this condition so  
I'll wait, I'll wait for the  
ambulance to come, ambulance to come  
Pick us up off the floor  
what did you possibly expect under this condition  
So slow down, _

He twirled and twirled me, but I never got dizzy I just kept laughing. (If you want an example of how they are dancing watch the video for this song)_  
_

_This nights a perfect shade of_

_  
Dark blue, dark blue  
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I'm here with you  
I said the world could be burning and burning down  
Dark blue, dark blue  
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I'm here with you  
I said the world could be burning  
'til there's nothing but dark blue  
Just dark blue-huee_

He spun me in circles to the beat and occasionally lifted me while he was doing it. All in all he was a great dancer. I felt so safe with him._  
_

_And this flood, this flood is slowly rising up,  
swallowing the ground beneath, my feet.  
Tell me how anybody thinks under this condition so  
I'll swim, I'll swim as the water rises up sun is sinking down and now  
All I can see are the planets in a row suggesting it's best that I  
Slow down this nights a perfect shade of_

_Dark blue, dark blue  
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I'm here with you  
I said the world could be burning and burning down_

_Dark blue, dark blue  
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I'm here with you  
I said the world could be burning dark blue_

_We were boxing,  
we were boxing the stars  
We were boxing (we were boxing)  
you were swinging for Mars  
And then the water reached the west coast  
And took the power lines, the power lines  
And it was me and you (lights over my) and the whole town underwater  
There was nothing we could do  
And it was dark blue_

As the beat slowed down he pulled me close and we swayed to the beat but it picked up again and we jived again.

_Dark blue, dark blue  
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I'm here with you  
I said the world could be burning and burning down_

_Dark blue  
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I'm here with you  
I said the world could be burning now there's nothing but dark blue_

_If you've ever been alone you'll know dark blue  
If you've ever been alone you'll know, you'll know_

By the end of the song I was giggling my head off and was feeling the vertigo from all the spinning. Then things slowed down suddenly as 'Take My Breath Away' by Jessica Simpson came on.

He placed his hands on my hips and I wrapped mine around his neck. It's amazing at how quickly the atmosphere goes from peppy and lively to romantic, because in less than a second we were caught in each other's eyes and trapped there. I felt my heart flutter in my chest. Everything else faded away, and if there was such a thing as cupid's arrow I was struck at once. In the middle of the song he pulled me closer to him and wrapped me in a tight embrace. I closed my eyes and rested my head on his shoulder as we swayed to the beat.

He rubbed the back of my neck and my back. He then whispered, "I think I may be falling for you." Normally I would've felt a bit embarrassed and would have blushed, but instead I just whispered back, "I think I am too." He then brought me forward to face him, he lifted my chin and gave me a chaste kiss on the lips. My first kiss. And I'd remember it forever.

On Monday we walked to class hand in hand. Those who had been at the dance didn't find it surprising after our little display, but those who weren't there found it shocking. For the first time in my life I was aware of everything that was said around me.

_No way! They're together! Awww I wanted Koharu to ask ME out._

_DAMN! Anna's taken now? _

_Aww! They're so sweet. You should've seen them together on Friday it was adorable_

_It's about time they got together; those two have liked each other for so long._

_Did you see her at the dance, she was so hot!_

I could feel Koharu stiffen at the last comment. "Hey calm down they're just being stupid." I said trying to calm him down. He looked at me, sighed, and said, "Sorry I just can't take it when a guy calls a girl 'hot'. That's not a compliment, if they want to describe you the only word I want to hear is beautiful." I blushed scarlet. "You're so cheesy." I said slapping his arm. He smiled, "Cheese or no cheese, I'm being serious. Besides, I don't want any guy looking at my girlfriend like that." "Possessive much?" I mocked him. "Very." he agreed with the same smile.

* * *

I kept fidgeting in my seat. I was about to meet Koharu's family. Apparently it was an all girls house, but that just made me more nervous. The questions can go on forever if there isn't a guy to say 'When's dinner'. "Calm down, they're gonna love you." he said with a kiss on the cheek. I gave a nervous smile and took a few deep breaths. "Okay I'm fine." I said. He smiled, "Good." he planted a heavy kiss on my lips. "After I just calmed down you're gonna speed up my heart again?" I asked exasperated. He smirked, "It's a distraction." he said slyly as he planted another one on my lips.

I had to admit that he did his job in distracting me affectively. Meeting his mother was the last thing on my mind as he guided me out of the car to the house. We walked hand in hand and as soon as he unlocked the door I was glomped at the entrance.

"AHHHH," they chorused, "SHE'S ADORABLE!" I blushed bright red as the compliments dragged on between, 'so pretty' 'so thin'. I had my cheeks pinched at least five times. I shot Koharu a look that read 'save me' He just looked at me sheepishly and said, "Okay, okay guys, you're scaring her." They slowly backed away and he took my hand and placed a protective arm around my waist. "This is Anna everybody." he said to his sisters. "Hi." I said shyly.

"Awww she's sooo cute!" they chorused. "Seriously Haru-chan, who would've thought you would get such a cute girlfriend." one of them said. "Hey!" Koharu interjected. They all started laughing. Koharu sighed. "Okay introductions. Going from left to right we have Yumi, Nadeshiko, Chigusa, Ami, and Sakura." he said pointing to each girl. They all had his green eyes, and were all extremely beautiful. "Pleased to meet you all." I said smiling.

"Where's mom?" Koharu asked from beside me. "She's coming a little late today, but don't worry she just called saying she's almost here, and we already got a head start on dinner." Yumi said. Koharu nodded in understanding. "Well we better get back to cooking I suppose." Nadeshiko said. "Awww but I wanted to talk to Haru-chan's girlfriend." "WOULD YOU STOP CALLING ME THAT WHILE SHE'S HERE!" Koharu said embarrassed. I giggled. All their eyes suddenly shot to me. "Oh it's just it reminded me of all of the spats my brother and I have." They all nodded in understanding. "Well, we'll just be in the kitchen then, you two just hang out in the living room for a while. Koharu nodded and goaded me into the room.

He flicked on the TV but it was merely background noise as we began talking. "So what do you think?" he asked curiously. I smiled, "I really, really like them. They are so nice." He let out a sigh, "I'm glad." I laughed. "Did you really think I'd hate your sisters?" He shrugged, "They annoy the heck out of me so…" he let his voice trail off. I glanced around the room. There were many pictures all around but they seemed to be more recent pictures, only about five years into the past at most. Where were all the embarrassing baby shots? And one question kept bugging me. I had kept quiet for a long time out of respect for Koharu's privacy, but it was killing me now.

"Koharu…you don't have to tell me….but…what happened to your father?" The calm and relaxing atmosphere we had instantly tensed. "I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked I said after seeing the dark expression on his face. It scared me. Could a person so kind and sweet have an evil side to them as well? I shook the thought away. He took in a deep breathe. "No it's okay. You have a right to know, its just…I'll tell you everything tonight I promise you that." he said.

"Mom's home!" Ami exclaimed. "It's show time." he whispered to me.

I was so nervous as we ate, that unfortunately I just had to spill my soda all over Koharu and somehow managed to get some on my shirt as well. I blushed instantly and started stammering out apologies. He held a finger to my lips. "Calm down. I'll just clean myself up. You need a new shirt too. Come." He took my hand and guided me toward his room. He pulled out a shirt and passed it to me. "The bathroom is right across the hall." he said. "Okay." I said sheepishly. I was pretty sure I embarrassed him. After I put on the shirt I walked into his room again, completely forgetting his need to change as well, only to catch him in a new pair of jeans but with no shirt on. I was embarrassed but that emotion was then sobered immediately.

His back was completely covered with scars. Slashes, red blotches, scratches. It brought tears to my eyes. He didn't turn around when he noticed my presence. "I was going to tell you everything tonight but…I guess there's no point anymore…..These scars are the only thing my father ever gave to me." I slowly walked up to him and hugged him from behind, letting my tears fall on his marred back. I kissed one of the scars, and continued to cry. "Shhh." he turned toward me and returned my hug. "It's okay, please, please stop crying." he begged. I slowed my sob but the tears streamed as if they had a mind of their own. I gently rubbed his back slowly, feeling the long since closed wounds. The red splotches turned out to be cigarette burns.

"Why?" I croaked out. I meant many things in that one word. Why had such a horrible thing happened to him? Why would someone try to hurt someone so wonderful. How could a father do that to his only son? "My dad was an angry drunk as one would call it. He would get angry when something went 'wrong'. After one experience where he hit one of my sisters I started to take the blame for everything so my sister's wouldn't get hurt. I was only seven so I'm not sure, but I think my mom has her own fair share of scars as well." he paused; I could sense the tears in his eyes.

"Then one day he passed out after one of his worst drinking spells, and never woke up. Alcohol poisoning. For years we all tried to go on like nothing happened, but then one day my mom just got tired of it. She got rid of everything that belonged to my father and burned all our family pictures. She said we were going to start anew." he laughed a dry laugh. "I don't know how but eventually we were happy again."

It was silent again for a while. "You know what my greatest fear is? My greatest fear is that I'm going to turn out just like him one day," his voice was cracking as he sobbed, "that I'm going to hurt the people I love one day. I can't bare the thought of ever hurting anyone I care about! I can't bare to think that one day I might hurt you!" he chocked out looking at me with panicked, tear filled eyes. "NO!" I shouted to him, in tears as well, "You will never, ever, be like your father. Just by wanting to protect the people you love you are different." I said with a tear-cracked voice. "You are the gentlest person I know. You would never, ever hurt anyone on purpose." He looked at me and placed a hand on my cheek. "I really and truly hope so. I love you Anna. I love you more than you know." he said. "I love you too." I said crying again.

Dinner passed in a blur. I was invited to eat again, and that was a great sign but it didn't seem to matter anymore. The person I loved was broken, and I felt hopeless at the thought of not being able to do anything to help him.

* * *

As time went on things began to be more normal between Koharu and I. After he told his secret we became even more inseparable. My friends looked at me with envy since I found such a great guy as my first boyfriend. Koharu's friends made fun of him for being 'whipped', but whenever they did say that he would just shrug and say, "I guess I am." It seemed like we were on a permanent honeymoon. But the honeymoon can never last forever

I was shopping in the mall with my friends when I came across a skirt. It was REALLY cute, but kinda short. Probably around mid-thigh. I usually only wore skirts 3 inches above my knees. My friends stopped shopping and looked at the skirt I held. "Ahh" Reira said snatching it from my grasp. "Koharu is gonna LOVE you in this." I blushed bright red. "It's cute but its way too short for my taste." I said. "So put some leggings on underneath it." she said like it was obvious. I thought about this. "Okay then." I said and went to buy the skirt.

I was feeling very self-conscious as I wore my skirt. Even with the leggings on underneath I still felt very aware of its length. I felt myself blushing whenever anyone laid their eyes on me, even if it was just a passing glance. It may sound conceited but I found myself wondering if the person thought I was a floozy. The only thing that kept me from going back home was the fact that I was right in front of the school

I took a deep breathe and walked in. I had a couple eyes on me and then my friends ran to me. "KAWAII" they sang at the top of their lungs. "I love your skirt!" "Where'd you get it?" "You look so cute!" A whole bunch of compliments were thrown my way. My face brightened, "Really! You really think so?" "YES" they chorused.

All morning I got similar comments from girls. I barely even noticed any guys looking at me until Reira pointed it out, "So, how does it feel to be the vixen of every male's imagination." she said. I had been drinking water at that moment but I abruptly spewed it out and started choking. "You okay." she said worriedly, while patting my back. "I'm…fine." I managed out.

"What did you mean by what you said earlier?" I asked. She slapped her forehead. "Anna, please I'm begging you, be more aware of your surroundings. Every guy within a five foot basis is drooling over you." she said. I took a glance around, and to my shock, she was right. They all seemed to be suffering from the same staring syndrome and had the same wistful expression on their faces. I squirmed under the intensity of their stares. Suddenly the bell to homeroom rang, and I grew excited since I hadn't seen Koharu at all this morning. I was anxious to see his reaction.

He saw me before I saw him. I felt a hand on my shoulder and there he was. "Anna, can I talk with you for a moment." he said through gritted teeth. "S-Sure." I said nervously. "I'll be right back." I said to Reira. She looked at me worriedly. She must've seen the look on his face as well. I gave her a smile to dismiss her worry. She must've seen the falseness in my smile because she looked even more nervous than before. "O-Okay, see ya in homeroom." she said hurrying off.

Koharu took my hand with more force than necessary and goaded me into an empty classroom. He stared at me from head to toe. "What the hell are you wearing?" he said venomously. I was startled by both his tone and the look in his eyes. I felt….afraid. There was no other way to describe it. My self-consciousness from this morning came back, "Y-You don't like it? I knew it was too short, I shouldn't have bought it." I said with a sigh. "If you knew, than why did you buy it?" he bit out. "W-Well I thought it looked really cute, and I thought that if I wore leggings it would look less lewd." I then saw the look on his face, "B-But I guess I was wrong. I'll just return it." I added quickly. "Good." he said. I felt stung and hurt. "O-Oh." I felt tears in my eyes. "W-Well I have an extra pair of jeans in my locker for emergencies I'll just get that." I said running out of the room. I ran as fast as I could to my locker.

The halls were empty now. My guess is that the second bell had already rung. With tears pouring down my eyes I opened the lock and pulled the jeans out. Without even taking off the leggings I pulled the jeans on and pulled the skirt off and shoved it in the locker. I collapsed on the floor crying. I had never felt so hurt and humiliated by someone I loved.

I went to my homeroom after I had redone my damaged makeup, and went to the classroom. "Are you ok Anna, Koharu said you weren't feeling well." my teacher said worriedly. I smiled a little, "I'm fine, just a cold." I said. The teacher nodded. I walked to my seat.

"Anna what happened to your skirt." a bunch of girls asked. "Oh, I spilled water on it. It's a good thing I carry emergency jeans in my locker." I said as casually as I could. It didn't fool Reira. "What happened with Koharu? You look like you've been crying." she said worriedly. I sighed. One can truly never fool their best friend. "I'm fine, it was nothing." I said. She still didn't look convinced. "I really did spill some water on it." I lied. She seemed to accept it. I mean what other explanation was there. But what I really didn't understand was why I had lied.

After school Koharu came up to me and hugged me. "I'm sorry." he whispered into my ear. "It's okay." I whispered half-heartedly. "No really, I can't believe I said something so horrible to you its just that….I got so angry. I overheard two guys talking about you and it just drove me crazy. You looked great in the skirt. You look gorgeous in everything you wear. I was just jealous." he said.

I was taken aback. One thing both my mother, my friends, and all the women on the planet had instilled in my head was that men were too proud to ever admit that they're jealous. And here is my boyfriend apologizing, and admitting he was jealous at the same time. "It's okay." I said again, more sincere this time. "So you were jealous of little old me?" I teased. He nodded, "I can never be too sure of you Anna. You're the perfect package. I find myself wondering what you see in me all the time." he said. I was taken even further aback. He felt insecure of my feelings for him?

I grabbed his face and looked at it hard. "Now you listen to me and you better listen good. I'm not saying this more than once." I said firmly. "I Anna Umenomiya, love you, Koharu Yamoto. I love, and I will always love you. Got that." I said forcefully. "Got it." he grinned, stealing a kiss from my lips.

* * *

I was doing homework when my phone started to ring. "Anna, it's me Yumi. Koharu's sister. I really need to talk to you." she said. I could sense something was wrong. I sat up. "Is there something wrong with Koharu?" I said worriedly. Lately he'd been very distant toward me, and seemed very sad. He wouldn't tell me about anything, and didn't call me anymore. I had been a nervous wreck for a long time. "Yes, but lets not talk about this on the phone. Can I meet you somewhere?" "Sure." I said. I was already putting on my shoes and was ready to just run out the door. I left for the coffee shop we agreed to meet at.

She was already there. She had probably called from the coffee shop. I sat down and looked at her. She looked so worried. "What's wrong?" I asked her sitting down. "Is he okay?" I said in a panicked tone. She shook her head. "We have no idea what's wrong with him. He is so depressed. His grades have been dropping, he won't eat or sleep, he never talks to us anymore. This isn't like him! I miss my baby brother." she said with tears in her eyes. I started to cry as well, "I've noticed it too. He won't talk to me, he never answers my calls, and he always ignores me at school. I have no idea what to do! He won't tell me what's wrong!" She looked dejected, "So you have no idea what's wrong with him?" she asked. I shook my head, "I assumed that I did something wrong or that he wanted to break up with me. I didn't know he was the same way at home as well." I said crying. She patted my shoulder. "Come with me home, and try to talk to him please?" she begged. I nodded, "Okay." I whispered.

"Koharu? Koharu I know you're in there." there was silence behind the door. "I'm coming in okay." I opened the door. His room was a complete mess. Completely unlike all the other times I had been his room. He was on his bed, seemingly staring at the ceiling. I would've thought he was sleeping except for the fact his eyes were open.

I walked to his side and sat on his bed. He made no move to acknowledge me. I then laid down next to him and put my head on his chest. That got him to move. "Get off Anna." he said more to the ceiling than to me. "No. I'm not leaving and you're not leaving till we talk. They already locked us in here to make sure you can't get out." I said.

After I said that, he shoved me off of him and headed to the door and tried to open it. He realized I'd been telling the truth. "WHAT THE HELL, ANNA?" he yelled at me. The look in his eyes was terrifying. I was almost petrified by his stare, but somehow I managed to recover my senses. "You're going tell me what's wrong with you. We're all worried about you dammit! This isn't like you!" I said back. "Please spare me. None of you give a damn about me. Especially you. I mean absolutely nothing to any of you!" he said. "HOW CAN YOU EVEN THINK THAT?" I yelled.

He was taken aback by my yelling. This was just about the first time I ever yelled at anyone. "How could you even think that? Your family loves you so much. Your sister called me on the verge of tears worried about you, and me…I've been so out of it these days thinking I did something wrong, that its bothered everything I did. I couldn't eat without thinking 'What did I do to make him so angry at me.' I was constantly thinking about what I could've done wrong." I said with tears falling from my eyes. "You must not have any idea what you mean to me do you." I said. Suddenly I felt desperate to get out. I banged on the door and begged for them to unlock the door.

Then I felt a light hand on my shoulder. "Wait…. please…..stay…..don't leave." he whispered. I stopped and looked at him with my tear filled eyes. "Please….just….don't leave me. I don't want to be alone." he whispered. I turned and hugged him. "Silly…..you never were alone."

* * *

It had been over a month since Koharu's freak out and everything seemed to be back to normal. The aura of excitement was abuzz in my house. My mother was so happy it rubbed off on all of us. Her brother who lived across the country was coming to visit. My mother hadn't seen her brother in many years, because after she had turned eighteen, she met my father at college and he lived here. When they married she decided to move with him. She missed her brother dearly. And now they were coming. It'd be a nice change of scenery, since they have a son who's my age so my parents want me to show him around. It shouldn't be too hard…I think.

When they showed up I had to do a double take. My cousin was beautiful. He had blonde hair and golden eyes. Kaname was his name. I showed him around and we hung out at a coffee shop for a while. Overall I had a lot of fun. I had no idea anyone was watching. And I had no idea that spending a day with my cousin could be interpreted wrong.

It was just after school when I felt my phone vibrate. It was a text message from Koharu.

_Meet me on the roof._

For some reason this felt like an ominous message. It sent shivers down my spine. But Koharu had been very distant all day today. But I did want to know what was wrong. I prayed that it wasn't going to be a repeat of what happened last month.

I walked up the stairs to the roof and opened and closed the door silently. I saw him with his back turned toward me. I crept up behind him and wrapped my hands around his eyes, "Guess who?" I said. He didn't reply. Instead he pried my hands off with a little more force than necessary. I looked at him and he had that same look that I had come to fear on his face. "W-What's wrong?" I asked. He didn't answer, instead he said, "So everything you've ever told me was lie, wasn't it Anna." he said with that same terrifying expression. I was frozen. "What are you talking about?" I asked fearfully. I began to back up slowly. "I'M TALKING ABOUT YOU CHEATING ON ME!" I backed up even more. "What are you talking about Haru? I've never cheated on you." I said. As I backed up he advanced closer to me. "DON'T YOU DARE LIE! I SAW YOU TOGETHER ANNA!" he shouted. As he advanced closer I backtracked even more till my back was against the door that leads off the roof. "I-I don't know what you're talking about, Koharu! I really never cheated on you." I said as I turned the door knob and swung the door open. I ran full of fear of the man behind me, but unfortunately I lost my footing and fell down the stairs, tumbling down. I heard him gasp above me.

"ANNA" I heard him shout in horror. I was barely conscious but I heard his heavy footsteps going down the stairs. "NO! NO!" I heard the sob in his voice. He pulled me into his lap and I felt tears hit my face. I wanted to reach out and wipe those tears, but I had to use all my strength just to stay conscious. He then took out his phone and called 911, "P-Please s-somebody help! My girlfriend, she fell down the stairs. Oh my God this is all my fault." he sobbed onto the phone, "Please, please help." he sobbed. I then heard him saying our school address.

He reached out to touch my face, but I shook so violently at the hand that he quickly put it down. "In the end I did turn out like him." he said with tears still falling down his cheeks. I struggled but managed to open my eyes. I tried to force my body to move and wipe his tears away, but as I moved to touch him my hand shook violently and goose bumps appeared on my arms. It wouldn't let me touch him. But I managed to let out one word, "Never." He would never be like him.

I then eventually pieced together what Koharu had been talking about before I fell. "Haru….when you said you saw me with a guy…did he have blond hair and golden eyes?" I said in a whispered. "Yes." he chocked out. "It hurt so badly to see you with another guy….but I didn't want it to end up this way. I never wanted you to get hurt." he said in a whisper. "I would never cheat on you….that was my cousin. Kaname." I said. After I made this revelation he hugged me closer to him and sobbed harder.

After I said that I didn't have much of any strength left. I struggled to keep my eyes open as the paramedics came. A male paramedic came toward me but when he tried to touch me blind terror took over. I cringed away from him. He took a step back and then called over his partner. A female. She assessed my injuries. I had a broken leg and arm, but other than that I was fine. She carefully lifted me on the stretcher. "What happened sweetheart." she whispered, glaring at Koharu as she talked. "We were arguing and I got scared so I tried to run away, but I slipped as I fell." I said to her. She narrowed her eyes. "You mean he pushed you." she corrected. I shook my head so violently that my arm stung. "NO!" I said firmly. "We may have been arguing but he did NOT push me. I really did fall." I said even firmer.

Something in my voice must've told her not to push it any further. I was put in the ambulance and taken to the hospital. As I got there I shuddered when a male doctor came toward me. Then the female paramedic who had been at the crime scene whispered something to him and the male doctor became a female one. After my physical injuries were treated another woman came to my room and sat down. "Have you ever heard of androphobia?"

* * *

I was laying down in the bed when suddenly a knock came to my door. It was a female police officer. "FOR THE LAST TIME HE DID NOT PUSH ME!" I asserted. I couldn't take all the constant questioning. All of them constantly telling me to tell the truth when I already was. It took so long before I could convince my family that it wasn't his fault. Especially with Kisuneme and my dad just about ready to take a shotgun to his head. "I know." she said. I quirked an eyebrow. "Why do you believe me now, you never believed me before." I asked. She snickered.

"That boy doesn't fit the M.O. of an abuser. When we interviewed him he looked like he had been crying and the first thing he did when he saw us was ask if you were okay. Plus even though his story is just about the same as yours accept he still feels guilty." she said. I gave her a puzzled look. "What?" I asked. "He keeps saying things along the lines of, 'Its all my fault I shouldn't have scared her.' or 'I shouldn't have talked to her when I was angry.' Most guys assert their innocence, but he does that AND incriminates himself at the same time." I nodded slowly. "So why are you here?" I asked. "To give you this." she handed me an envelope and walked out the door.

_Dear Anna,_

_You probably never want to see me again, and I completely understand it if you don't, which is why I'm writing this to you now. I am so sorry that I hurt you. You can't possibly know how sorry I am. Thinking about how what I've put you through this entire year is…horrible. There's really no other word to describe it although I wish there was. But that's enough of my apologies. What I'm writing this just to…explain I suppose. While I was being questioned by the police they also had me psyche examined…and… I have something. Bipolar Disorder. I told them about…my father, and they told me that they think my father probably had the disorder as well since it tends to run in families. It figures. In the end I did turn out like my father. I ended up hurting someone I love, and that just kills me. It kills me that I completely ruined what I had with you. I love you, so much, but I'm not what's right for you. You don't deserve to have to deal with a person who has highs and lows, who gets depressed and angry. You just don't deserve it. You deserve better than me. But still I suppose its in human nature to hope. I hope that maybe one day, when I'm better, maybe we can be together again, someday. It's just a hope though, if you're the smart girl I know you are then you'd be wise and stay away from me. But I just want you to know that I love you, and I always will love you, and that I'm sorry._

_with all my heart,_

_Koharu_

Yes. When the day comes when we are both better. When the day comes when I can see you and not be afraid of you. _Someday._

* * *

Yes I know this is beyond long. Even I had to take breaks reading it again lmao. I love the way it turned out though, I think I can get this published by its sheer length and content. Well I hope you guys like this too. Oh I actually did a lot of research on bipolar disorder, I wanted to be sure I potrayed the symptoms right. To be specific, Koharu suffered from dysphoric mania. I'll be very upset if there are any comments saying bad things about him. So please don't make them. Okay please review


	20. Epilogue: Atonement

This is my final chapter. I feel so sad having to write it, it makes me sad to think about it. 'Conspiracy' holds something dear to my heart. What started out as something to pass the time during a punishment turned out to be a full blown story. I loved writing this and I will always love this story. Thank you so much to all those who have supported me from the beginning and thank you all my subscribers and supporters. Please continue to read what I write.

The price of this chapter is one review. ANYONE reading this MUST and I repeat MUST review. I will haunt you till your death if you do not.

Okay here you go:

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Epilogue: Atonement

I was standing underneath a willow tree. My hair was tousled in the breeze but it hardly seemed to matter. I knelt before the granite slab in front of me and ran my fingers over it. The universal symbol of death. I felt myself close to tears not because of sadness over the dead man buried underneath me, but because of my own selfishness. I had not been to his grave since the burial all those years ago.

Toshiro Azumi. My father. Today was the twentieth anniversary of his death. I had not visited his grave in all those years. Some daughter I was. I loved this man dearly. He was the only man I could ever call my father, just as my adoptive mother was the only woman I could ever call my mother. They were both my parents in my heart, but they had never met each other. Life's funny isn't it?

"Hey Dad, It's me, Mikan. I haven't talked to you in such a long time. What a horrible daughter I am. It's been twenty years since you died. Wow it seems like it was just yesterday. Is it the same for you?" I paused even though I knew he I couldn't possibly give me an answer. "I know you can probably never see me as more than your little girl."

I paused for a silence. "So, how's Yuka. You probably know better than I do how she's been. I'm so sorry dad. Your dying wish was for us to take care of each other but we couldn't even do that! But in a way, I'm happy Yuka abandoned me, I'm happy that I had to suffer. She set the wheels of my fate in motion. If she hadn't I wouldn't have been able to meet the love of my life." I said earnestly.

I turned my gaze over toward Natsume and then to the little girl in his arms. "That's Natsume daddy. My husband. I love him so much. I wish you had been the one to give me away at my wedding, but I guess that 'this was the path of fate thrown at us' as you used to say." I laughed softly at my father's old words.

"That's our little girl he's holding. Senna Hyugga. Isn't she beautiful daddy?! She has my green eyes and Natsume's black hair. She's getting so big too! Only one year old and she can already talk and walk on her own. She may have taken after her father in the intellect department; I'm pretty sure your granddaughter's a little genius." I gushed.

I started to giggle and remember just last year when I learned about my miracle baby for the first time:

_Flashback:_

"_Everything seems fine." my doctor said with a smile. We both sighed. "Really, nothing's wrong?" I asked. He smiled again and it seemed a little suspicious. "Everything is perfectly fine," he said. Natsume let out another sigh of relief, but then he said "you're just pregnant."_

_I did a double take. If I were drinking anything I surely would I spurted it out. "I'M WHAT? I half-screeched. I turned to Natsume. He looked like he was choking on the very air he was breathing._

_The doctor smiled. He must have enjoyed doing this to numerous unsuspecting couples. "I said you're pregnant my dear, there's no doubt about it. You're about eight weeks in." My mouth was still agape. "B-but t-that's i-impossible." I stuttered. The doctor furrowed his eyebrow. "You mean you and your husband have never-" I cut him off blushing madly, "Of course we have, we're married." I interjected. "Then how is it impossible my dear?" he asked. I sighed. "When I was fifteen I had a miscarriage. I was told by the doctors at the hospital that there was almost no chance that I'd ever be able to conceive a child. That's why we were looking to adoption ads rather than trying to have our own baby." I explained. If possible the smile on the doctor's face became even wider. "Then let me be the first to congratulate you on your miracle." he said. "Now if you'll please excuse me, I have other patients to attend to." he said while standing up. "Best of luck to you two." he said while walking out the door._

_There was a long silence. Natsume was the first to recover. "Come, Mikan we'd better let them use the room." he whispered. "O-Okay." I choked out. He held my hand and guided me with a new kind of gentleness. Gentleness for what was growing inside of me. That's when it hit me._

"_I'm pregnant." I muttered. He chuckled without humor. "That's a pretty late reaction, babe." he whispered. I shook my head. "Think about it Nat, We're going to have a baby! You're going to be a father! I'm carrying your future son or daughter inside me right now." my voice got higher and higher with every new sentence. I could see how Natsume's eyes brightened and smoldered with pure happiness at my words. He bent down on his knees, lifted my shirt ever so slightly and kissed my belly. He then lifted me in his arms with a huge smile on his face I wrapped my legs around his waist as he spun me around in circles. This surely was the best day of my life_

_9 months, 20 pairs of maternity pants, 300 tubs of ice cream, and one baby shower later:_

_I was folding clothes. Not such an easy task anymore now that my torso was the size of a watermelon. And where was Natsume? On the couch watching something on TV of course. I sighed and continued using my oversized stomach as a table when suddenly my water broke. Uh oh. "Umm Natsume I think we have a problem." I called out to downstairs. "What kind of problem?" he called back "Well my water just broke, I think that would classify as a problem." I said. There was a moment of silence then the sound of a glass breaking. "SHIT!"was all I heard. He ran up the stairs in record time and guided me down the stairs._

_After speeding through the streets and breaking numerous traffic laws in the process we made it to the emergency room. By the time we got there I was just about ready to beg for them to shove drugs in my system. As he helped me out of the car I squeezed his hand so hard it turned blue. "You might want to ease up there a bit Mikan." he said with a wince. I gave him a glare so hard that it silenced any other words about to come out of his mouth. _

_Natsume filled out paper work while I paced back and forth. They tried to force me into a wheelchair, but I merely declined saying that pacing would help me deal with the pain. "You okay there?" I heard from behind me. I turned and I saw a woman in a wheelchair. She was pregnant too but unlike me she was completely calm. She had dark pink hair and the same shade in her eyes. My eyes widened like saucers I looked to the right and saw a tall man with navy hair and navy eyes. He had an unforgettable mark on his cheek that confirmed my suspicions. He had a toddler draped around his shoulders. "Misaki, Tsubasa." I whispered. "Chibi?" they said at the same time. "OMG IT IS YOU!" they shouted._

_Tsubasa put the toddler on his back down and jogged to me. He ran to me and hugged me tightly. "You're just as cute as I remembered." he gushed. "HEY!" I heard from both Natsume and Misaki. Misaki wheeled herself to Tsubasa and pulled him by the ear. "It's so good to see you Mikan. It's been years!" she gushed. I looked to Natsume and he was glaring at Tsubasa so hard the phrase 'If looks can kill popped into mind.'. He wrapped his arm around my waist possessively. "Are you the guy who knocked up my chibi." Tsubasa said with a glare of his own. Misaki knocked him upside his head. _

"_I'm so sorry." she said to Natsume, "This one needs to learn to watch his mouth." she said. Natsume nodded. "Nat this is Misaki and Tsubasa, they're old friends of mine from when I was five years old." I said to him. "This is Natsume you guys, he's my husband." I said with a smile. "HUSBAND!" they said at the same time. "But you're so young." Misaki said._

_I quirked an eyebrow, "You guys are only two years older than me but you already have a kid who looks about three years old and another kid on the way." I said. They blushed bright scarlet, "Well we've know each other so long its just-" Tsubasa started, but then said, "Oh that's right!" he pulled the toddler from behind him and up on his shoulders again, "This is our son Youichi, he just turned three years old." he said to me. "Hi You-chan." I said to him. He was adorable with the cutest gray eyes and hair. He looked nothing like his mother or father. "Hi ugly." he said. I was taken aback. Natsume went into hysterics next to me and his parents scolded him._

"_Sorry, we have no idea where he picked that up. He says that to everyone." Misaki said nervously. Natsume continued to laugh, "You know you should shut up before I shove my foot up your—AHHH" I screeched in pain. He stopped laughing and immediately took my hand in his. "I'll go get you a wheelchair." he said walking away. I looked at Misaki and she was looking at Natsume with admiring eyes. "What?" I asked him. She smiled, "The way he takes care of you….I know he's going to be a great father." I smiled at his back also. "I think so too."_

_Natsume's POV:_

_Mikan just went into labor, and I was kicked out of the room. Why? Because she kept screaming furious curses at me along with variations of 'YOU DID THIS TO ME YOU BASTARD' or 'WHEN THIS IS OVER I'M GONNA HIT YOU SO HARD IN THE NUTS YOUR GONNA LOOK LIKE A WOMAN' The doctor, who happened to be male looked horrified and suggested for my own safety it'd be best to wait outside. After ten minutes of pacing back and forth I couldn't take much more. I knew labor could take hours but I couldn't help but wonder if something was wrong. "You really should calm down before you give yourself an aneurism." a voice called. I looked and it was the star-cheeked bastard. "Tch. Whatever." I said. Who was he to tell me what to do?_

_He got up and walked toward me. "Relax, she'll be fine. You look just like I did when Misaki was giving birth to Youichi." he said while pointing to the little boy asleep on a makeshift bed of hospital pillows and blankets. "She'll be fine trust me." I took a deep breath. Even though I didn't like him, I found myself comforted by his words. "So," he said breaking the silence, "You guys having a girl or a boy." At first I didn't answer but then I said, "We want it to be a surprise." "Ahhh." he said, "Then are you shooting for a boy or a girl." he said. "Whichever." I lied. I wanted a girl. A little angel in Mikan's image._

_He nodded in understanding. "I feel the same way. I just hope for a girl." he said earnestly. I quirked an eyebrow. "I can tell its one of Misaki's dreams to raise a girl, and we were told that this is the last child she can have. We'll love the kid regardless but it'd be nice to make her happy." he said with a solemn expression. I suddenly felt compassion for them. "Fool." I mumbled. "Wha?" he asked confusedly. "Mikan was told that she could never conceive, which is why we never tried. We just went straight to adoption agencies. And look how they were wrong." I said. I saw his face brighten so I took that as my cue to walk away. "You're a lot kinder than you look. I'm happy the chibi has someone like you." he called behind my back. "I never asked for your approval." I said. 'Thank You.'_

_Mikan's POV:_

_After twelve hours of labor Senna was born. Perhaps the most beautiful baby on the planet. When Natsume saw her she knocked the breath out of his lungs. According to him she looked just like his dead sister. The only difference was her eyes, which were obviously mine. Her green eyes looked at me inquisitively and she didn't cry like most babies did after she just laid in my arms. This strength could only come from her father. She reached up and placed her hand on my cheek, and then she smiled and laughed. Natsume and I gasped and looked at each other. Was that even possible? This child was definitely special._

Flashback Over:

I smiled at the memories. "Daddy I couldn't be happier with the way life turned out for me but tell me, are you proud of me? Are you proud of whom I've become?" A breeze touched my cheek, and although he couldn't speak to me, I could feel the answer. I smiled to the sun above me.

* * *

Yuka's POV

I watched as my daughter left with her family. I glanced at my son-in-law, and my granddaughter. The pair was strikingly beautiful. How I wish I could just know their names. I smiled a sad smile. I looked back at the girl I abandoned. The girl turned out beautifully, with no help from me. The only thing I ever did was make her life increasingly difficult. Rather than guiding her as all mothers should, I left her in the dark. Now in my lonesome old age I can feel the evil and horror of what I did all those years ago. I walk up to the grave of my long dead husband. The only thing I could wish for is for some kind of forgiveness for what I did. I ran my fingers over the stone marking his grave. "She grew up well didn't she Toshiro." I said to the sky. "It must be my punishment to only be able to watch her from afar." I ran my fingers over the grave marker once more. "Till we meet in the next life." I said bidding him farewell I kissed the stone and walked away never to return.

* * *

Hotaru's POV

How does one measure happiness? Is it by the wealth you accumulate? Is it by the success you gained? Is it from the friendships you attained? Or is it by the love given to you by another person? I suppose if the answer to that question was the first or the second I should be the happiest person in the world. So why do I feel so hollow inside? Even with my normal absence of emotion I can feel the sudden longing that fills my soul.

I obviously have everything I've ever wanted for myself. To have my own corporation under my name, and to have a vast wealth at a young age and I did gain these things for myself. But at what price? I had friends once, but after I graduated from school I left for America. We talked and wrote to each other but we slowly drifted apart until nothing but work seemed to matter anymore. I was in love once, but that had ended too. Ruka. Before I left he said that he would wait for me to come back but I never expected him to. In fact I came back little over a year ago, but I knew by now he had a life. Possibly a new love. He couldn't possibly know how much I miss him now. How much it hurts to know that I didn't prioritize the people I love the way I should have. How much it hurts to know that I ruined our relationship. How loneliness has settled in and taken me prisoner.

I sat on my desk pondering these things as my assistant came in and brought to my attention another crisis for my company. I let out a sigh and resigned myself to a day sitting at my desk straightening this out.

I was walking out of my office to my car. It was one o'clock in the morning and I was the only one in the parking lot. My body shuddered at the thought. I was about to unlock my car door when I felt weight on my shoulder. I jumped up so much that I dropped my keys. I spun around and my eyes widened. There they were all my friends standing there with reproachful eyes.

"Hotaru Imai, where have you been?" Mikan asked. For just about the first time in my life I was stunned speechless. "How long were you planning on going without telling us you came back?" said a voice beside me. I turned to look, and there was Ruka. I was still speechless, but luckily I didn't really have to speak. He pulled me toward him and captured my lips. "Never leave me again." he whispered while wrapping his arms around me. And even though I know it's impossible, I'd swear on my life I felt his touch.

* * *

Anna's POV

Today would have been Koharu and my's tenth anniversary. Ten years together. If only we could've been so lucky. Even though I'm finally over my fear, it still did me no good. I returned to my hometown only to find out that his family had long moved away. His house was now occupied by a loving family of five with a Labrador and a tire swing in the big tree out front. Peachy.

So I've spent the last few years looking for him in vain. Pathetic huh? But after all these years no one else has touched my heart. I still love him as much as when we were together. I know it's foolish to assume that he hasn't found someone by now, but I can only hope and pray that we WILL end up together again. Just like he hoped. But he was young then. Feelings change after all, perhaps he even forgot all about me.

Today I decided it would be okay to indulge myself in my memories. I looked at the ring on my finger and smiled a sad smile.

_Today's my birthday. Should be happy right? WRONG! As soon as I got out of school I was blindfolded from behind and dragged into a car. Then as soon as the car stops someone pulls me shoves a hat and a scarf on me and pushes me inside a freezing cold room._

_Then finally the blindfold is taken off and I'm ready to scream bloody murder, when I see my surroundings. I took a sharp gasp of air. I'm in front of an ice skating rink. There's an elegant table in the center with two trays of covered food. There are rose petals scattered all throughout the ice, and the only light was that of candles around the rink. And there in the center is my boyfriend with a rose in his hand. I smiled hugely and hurried and put on my skates that were conveniently in front of me._

_He blended two of my favorite things perfectly. Ice skating and romance. I skated out to meet him and he gave me the rose. "Well you sure know how to impress." I said with a huge smile. The answering smile was just as big. As if on cue music began to play. He took my hand and we glided along the ice, brushing petals in our path. I smiled hugely and he twirled me much like he did on that first dance together. He was so graceful and beautiful._

_What girl can honestly say that their first boyfriend was as sweet as he is? He then took my hand and looked at me seriously. He placed a ring on my finger. "I promise that we'll always be together. Until the day comes that we're forced apart." he said to me. "Of course we'll be together. And I'll always have this on my finger." Always._

It was a lie. It was a jinx. Whatever you want to call it, it did not turn out the way either of us had hoped. Somehow I found myself in front of the same ice skating rink. I shook my head. What was I getting myself into? What was I expecting? I was just setting myself up to be heartbroken. Setting myself up for the pain to become all the more clearer than it had been before.

Tears began to spill out over my eyes uncontrollably. I couldn't resist. Some force, some pull was taking me toward this place and I couldn't fight it. I walked in and prepared myself for the whole inside my chest to widen, and drag me down into the pain of the first months we were forced to separate. But it never came. In fact I felt anew. Like there never was any pain to begin with. Why? Because he was standing right in front of me.

"H-haru…" I called out. He turned around and saw me there. His eyes widened. I blindly walked out toward him on the ice. I didn't matter that I could fall on the ice; all that mattered was getting to him. But unfortunately my feet wouldn't listen to my priorities and I slipped on the ice. But then there he was with me. Breaking my fall.

He looked at me, and brought his shaking hand to my cheek. He held it there and closed his eyes, as if he couldn't believe this wasn't a dream. He then reopened his eyes and I was still here. I held the hand that was still on my face, and ran my fingers over it. It was then when his eyes caught the little silver on my finger. He quickly caught my hand and examined my finger. He stared up at me incredulously. "I've never taken it off. Not even once." He then grabbed me and held me so tight I couldn't breathe. "I love you. I love you so much." he repeated. "With all that I am, I love you." I whispered back. And we shared a kiss so much sweeter than any other pleasure or any sin. It was a kiss of a promise fulfilled. In his arms, forever I would stay.

* * *

Fortune is like a wave crashing on the beach. At one point you're at the highest point you've ever been on, but then all too soon you are crashed against the shore. But in the end the cycle continues….and life goes on.

The End

* * *

_I can't believe it! I'm finally done. I feel like crying. I will never write for this story again (cries) But at the same time I feel very, very happy. I have so many people who supported me, more than I ever expected._

_Oh btw. Anna's birthday date is based on a dream I had. At the beginning of the dream I met the guy at the skating rink. I was skating and then I slipped and he worked at the skating rink and he helped me up. And he called me his Ice Princess. The later when we're like 20 he did the same setup Koharu did except he brought me to the spot at which I had fallen and then he'd propose to me right at that spot. HAHA what a crazy dream. But at the same time, now I'm looking out for boys who work at ice skating rinks. Haha who knows maybe it's a prophetic dream. ;) _

_Please review after all this IS the last of 'Conspiracy'. Thank you all so much. Oh and here are some previews of what's to come._

_

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__Previews for future stories:_

_Title: A Matter of Perception:_

_Anime: Gakuen Alice_

_Summary: We've been friends since we were babies. I never saw her as a girl. But then one day out of the blue it hit me. She WAS a girl. And I fell madly in love with her. Only one problem. She dates my best friend and I was the one who set them up._

_Teaser:_

_I was looking at a picture with a pair of scissors in my hands. In it are my closest friends, Mikan and Ruka with me in between them. Mikan and I have lived next door to each other all our lives, and have been friends since we've been in diapers. I never saw her as a girl; she was always just one of the guys. Our parents used to joke that we were destined to be together, but both of us would gag at the very idea. To me it'd be like going gay getting married to a guy, to her it'd be like marrying her brother. _

_We met Ruka when we were 13, and he and I instantly hit it off and became best friends. He and Mikan had a different reaction to each other. It was obvious to anyone with eyes that the two liked each other so I set them up, and it worked. They've been dating for 3 years. I never had a problem with it…at least not until recently. I never saw Mikan as a girl before last week. Then it hit me like a brick to my head. I saw everything at once like I had been blind all my life and were seeing for the first time. She was a girl, and I fell madly in love with her_

_Title: Lithium_

_Anime: Princess Tutu_

_Summary: I was head over heels in love with her, but then as soon as I realized that she was transformed into the bird that bears her name. I worked to change her back into the girl she was, but in the end all I did was make things worse._

_No Teaser- HAHA I have no teaser for this one, if I give you part of the first chapter it would make no sense. If you're interested you'll just have to wait and see ;) _


	21. Refurbished

Author's Note

Hi everyone, it's me. It feels so good and yet so weird to be writing something for "Conspiracy" after such a long time. Conspiracy was one of my first finished multi-chaptered stories and because of that I am both fond of it and ashamed of it. There is so much I think I could change and improve to make it better. With this in mind I have decided I will completely refurbish this story and post it with original characters instead of those in the Gakuen Alice world. I am going to post this on which I have an account for already. Anyone interested in reading it just needs to access my account at:

www . fictionpress . com / ~ jasmini (without the spaces)

On this account I have about five stories posted, and these were in my school's Literary Magazine, so you can feel free to read those as well. Thanks to all those who have read Conspiracy and I'll look forward to seeing you guys.


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